Landons daughter

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2023-May-4 @ 4:51 PM
Bridget
Barmaid
Member since 2006-Sep-9
Posts: 783

Landons daughter

A nine-year-old daughter finds her father doing somewhat questionable, personal things. The consequences are surprising.


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2023-May-27 @ 11:40 AM
CreepyUnclePete
Contributor
Member since 2023-Jan-13
Posts: 11

Your story "Landon's Daughter" is quite exciting. Thank you for sharing your imagination.
I hope you won't mind a few corrections.
- In chapter 1 you should say "quickened" or "accelerated", instead of "fastened". "Fastened" means closed or attached. "He fastened the pages together with staples."
- In chapter 2 the girl would weigh 26 KILOGRAMS or KILOS, not 26 pounds.
Thanks again for they nice story,
CreepyUnclePete

(posted from Chapter 3 (Final))


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