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#1 2023-05-04 10:51:18
Landons daughter
Landons daughter
A nine-year-old daughter finds her father doing somewhat questionable, personal things. The consequences are surprising.
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#2 2023-05-27 05:40:53
- CreepyUnclePete
- Inebriated
- Registered: 2023-01-12
- Posts: 11
Re: Landons daughter
Your story "Landon's Daughter" is quite exciting. Thank you for sharing your imagination.
I hope you won't mind a few corrections.
- In chapter 1 you should say "quickened" or "accelerated", instead of "fastened". "Fastened" means closed or attached. "He fastened the pages together with staples."
- In chapter 2 the girl would weigh 26 KILOGRAMS or KILOS, not 26 pounds.
Thanks again for they nice story,
CreepyUnclePete
(posted from Chapter 3 (Final))
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