Potential

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2018-Dec-15 @ 6:16 AM
Anganell Brigette
Contributor
Member since 2018-Dec-15
Posts: 3

BiStander, your collection of work is quite remarkable.  I recently discovered your compositions in another forum.  As a less talented writer myself , I wish to reach out to you and state you have been blessed with a gift.  It is remarkable your story line mirrors my real life experience.  We never had sex with our parents but we sure did with brother and sister and then my sisters children with her and with each other and me.  Do not get discouraged. You body of work under the title POTENTIAL is worthy of publication in the main stream under forbidden erotica. Besos Anganell Brigette

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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I guess I want to be the next D L James the author of 50 shades of Gray.
Or A N Roquelaure, Anne Rice's pen name for five erotic novels.
2019-Jan-3 @ 8:29 PM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 118

How am I doing with formatting? I've never had any complains or comments but thought I might ask in case my choice of font or text size or spacing could be better.

(posted from Chapter 27: An Ultimate Threesome)


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2019-Jan-4 @ 12:52 AM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 4125

Taking a look at your latest chapter, my suggestion would be that the spacing between lines needs to be increased slightly.  Right now, it all starts to run together into one massive block.

This is, of course, just my opinion, and as I have bad eyesight, my impression may be skewed.

Eric Storm


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Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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AMEN! >>> Word Crimes
2019-Jan-5 @ 10:49 AM
neolyn
Inebriated
Member since 2016-Feb-13
Posts: 49

Eric Storm wrote:

Taking a look at your latest chapter, my suggestion would be that the spacing between lines needs to be increased slightly.  Right now, it all starts to run together into one massive block.

This is, of course, just my opinion, and as I have bad eyesight, my impression may be skewed.

Eric Storm

I agree, it's a bit unconfortable to read. : /


The chapter was nice! and looooong. I think it's the longest yet.

It's confirmed Candy's blood family are all either crazy, perverts or crazy perverts. I quite liked that Evan thought of Darlene's ass first before thinking about Candy's, good way to put a bit of thesex-crazed red-head without her actually appearing in the chapter.


For one moment I really thought that :

1) Deana an Evan would walk in on Candy and Cindy's fun.
2) Candy was pregnant with Evan ( but with how the timeline is, it's impossible)

It's really frustrating that everyone keeps secrets. They all love each other, feel  and think the same way. Thankfully you move the plot forward with those secrets by making them sharing them.

There nothing worse than making misunderstanding bigger and bigger but never resolving them.You don't do that and I thank you a lot for it (Some pro needs to learn from you about that >.>).


So, It seems Cindy who is younger than Candy knows a truth from Sally that Candy herself doesn't.
I got to say, that came out from nowhere, I wasn't expecting that at all.

We know that Cindy was 5 when Sally disapeared, but how did Cindy get in touch with her when even candy couldn't ? And how did Cindy get to know her in the first place ?

I always thought that Candy got involved with Sandra's family because she was her sitter but that new connexion Cindy-Sally implied that the two families are somehow acquinted in another way.

I got lot of question:

1) Is Gloria's father John or Bobby ?
2) Bobby clearly had an incestual relationship with both his sisters and her mother, why then Sally had to leave an Candy grow up without a proper mother.
3) Where the heck did Bobby go ?
4)How come Darlene know about how she's related to Candy and Gloria, heck with all the family but Candy doesn't ?
5)I thought Evan was Candy's loved one, but now it's Cindy ?
6)Sandra is almost portrayed as a Saint so how did she managed to marry a bastard like John?

7) Why is Candy freaking out  about the surveillance camera ? It's all in a hardrive !! Not the hardest thing to get rid off.


Can't wait to have answers in future chapter.

Keep up the good work !


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2019-Jan-6 @ 12:50 AM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 118

Ah, neolyn, you ask some very good questions, and I'm glad you did because I am very stressed about whether or not I'll remember to tie up all these ends. I'm happy to hear what you are thinking.

I will keep a copy of your questions and welcome anyone else to ask.

Because you should already know, I will answer this, Candy's mother became a drunk after her husband died in the car crash with Sandra, not that she was a great mother before that. Among other things, she was getting fucked by Bobby while everyone else slept. We must assume her husband was there because Candy thought it was her father, at first. Bobby stayed on to try and help her recover, but she never did. You'll see that in a conversation between Candy and Sally where Candy expressed her guilty feelings about leaving her mother. Can't remember which chapter that's in.

You should also know that Candy reached out to Darlene, but the redhead wasn't sure she believed it was really her aunt.

I'll have to look back and see where, but I'm pretty sure it was covered that Sally was the first babysitter before Candy. If not, shame on me.

As far as #7, what would you do if you came home and found that your system for checking up on your cheating wife was missing or blank?

Eric, thank you for the heads up. I'll try 1.5 line spacing. I have single now.


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2019-Jan-9 @ 4:11 AM
Glockman22
Tipsy
Member since 2016-Apr-28
Posts: 8

Love this story I cant wait for the next chapter to come out!


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2019-Jan-10 @ 12:03 AM
neolyn
Inebriated
Member since 2016-Feb-13
Posts: 49

bistander wrote:

Ah, neolyn, you ask some very good questions, and I'm glad you did because I am very stressed about whether or not I'll remember to tie up all these ends. I'm happy to hear what you are thinking.

I will keep a copy of your questions and welcome anyone else to ask.

Because you should already know, I will answer this, Candy's mother became a drunk after her husband died in the car crash with Sandra, not that she was a great mother before that. Among other things, she was getting fucked by Bobby while everyone else slept. We must assume her husband was there because Candy thought it was her father, at first. Bobby stayed on to try and help her recover, but she never did. You'll see that in a conversation between Candy and Sally where Candy expressed her guilty feelings about leaving her mother. Can't remember which chapter that's in.

You should also know that Candy reached out to Darlene, but the redhead wasn't sure she believed it was really her aunt.

I'll have to look back and see where, but I'm pretty sure it was covered that Sally was the first babysitter before Candy. If not, shame on me.

As far as #7, what would you do if you came home and found that your system for checking up on your cheating wife was missing or blank?

Eric, thank you for the heads up. I'll try 1.5 line spacing. I have single now.

Wait, it was Candy's Father in the car and not Sandra's ?

I forgot that Sally was the sitter before Candy.

Would it be wrong of me to think that Darlene's father is in reality John making her and Evan half-siblings ? With Gloria being her half-sister AND cousin ?

John is a monster yet I can't believe that  Sally and Candy's father would not catch on that despite being underage they BOTH got pregnant one after another  while each one was a sitter.

Did Sandra never said anything because just like Candy she was an abused wife ?

Now I wonder if the car accident was really a car accident... It's really too convenient for John.


So Sally and candy's mother was having sex with Bobby BEFORE their father died and THEN she began drinking because of his death. That's doesn't make sense to me. Did his death make her heartbroken ? I find it hard to belive since she was clearly cheating on him with their son.

#7 There are many ways, Power outage ? Copy & past and ealier day? but I guess that since Candy's doesn't seem very knowledgable about technology she doesn't know.


Why did Candy did not continue having contact with Darlene? Surely she'd have know that just a " Hello I'm your aunt " would not be enough.

So Candy is in the know that Evan is crazy in love with Darlene and she doesn't help him to score by talking a lot with Darlene ? Bad Candy ! >sad

I need to read everything again because some more things bother me And I'm sure the anwsers I'm looking for were already given. Like Cindy is from whose side of the family, John or Sandra ?

I still wonder about Candy and and Evan. I mean from what we know Candy is in love with him, she can't resist him after all, yet she's with Cindy ...

I do Hope that Cindy and Even share more than a kiss, sooner or later.

I'm wondering, what age is Gloria ?  13 or so right ? I'd be honest her young age is bothering me a lot, I'm not really into this kind of thing but I do not mind teenager having sex together even if one is 13 and the other 19 (as long as both are willing, are underage or barely of age).


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2019-Jan-10 @ 1:18 AM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 4125

If by "line spacing", you're referring to the "line-height" CSS property, then yes, it needs to be greater than 1.  I think 1.2em is the standard for single-spaced works.  If you're referring to a word processor's "line spacing" property, then... it could be anything.

Eric Storm


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Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
AMEN! >>> Word Crimes
2019-Jan-10 @ 1:36 AM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 118

neolyn, Yes, you really better reread it because you missed some important facts. I take responsibility for that if you have been reading it a long time and have had to wait between chapters. Honestly, I have forgotten stuff. That's why I like it when people ask questions or make comments about things they are wondering about.

I won't give anything away, but I'll tell you that yes, Candy's father. That comes out in one of her internal monologs. The stuff about what happened with the mother comes out during one of Candy and Sally's conversations.
It was also revealed that Bobby is Gloria's father.
In an early chapter Candy is thinking about a thunderstorm. She sees what she thinks is happening. Later on, she reveals that it was actually Bobby.

John's computer is locked to Candy and unless the power has been out for over a week then the missing footage cannot be explained. Even if Candy was tech enough to get into it, would she know how to go through a week of recordings and get rid of only what John can't see? I doubt it. Think about how many times Evan left. He's grounded, and one night he stayed at Jason after the races. Cindy has been there twice, but Candy only knows about the one time. We have no idea what else might have been recorded. Remember what happened to Candy when she stood up for Evan? Can you imagine what might happen if Candy fucks with his computer?

John's sister is Julia, so Cindy would be from that side of the family.

Gloria is young. Deana was young too when John started fucking with her. That's why we hate him so much. Evan is 16, and I haven't done the math lately, but Gloria should be 13. I can't remember how old I said Candy is, but she was pregnant at 13, I think. So baby at 14, + 13 that makes her 27, yeah, that works.
I hope you caught on to the fact that both Deana and Gloria want to lose their virginity for the same reason. That's the reason they are in a hurry.


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2019-Jan-10 @ 8:08 AM
Bushhairs
Tipsy
Member since 2014-Nov-25
Posts: 3

Is that raceway in the deep south,on 59?

Sounds like you are very familiar with that area, methinks. It has all changed completely since I hunted chicks there as a horny young man, leaving several shredded hymens scattered about and then attempting to heal their localities of origin by further massaging via phallic insertion and soothing anointing of a mixture of prostatic and testicular product.

Too bad for me that I predated the characters featured in this story, although the ones that I did associate with were more than acceptable, and I could have descendant offspring overly populating the surrounding habitat.
 
Great story and I look forward to more!

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2019-Jan-13 @ 12:11 PM
neolyn
Inebriated
Member since 2016-Feb-13
Posts: 49

I discovered potential about1 or 2 years ago a bit more maybe.Normal that I forgot some stuff.

"John's sister is Julia, so Cindy would be from that side of the family."

But Deana looks like her mother and Evan find Cindy looking like Deana. How come Cindy is from John's side then ?

"Gloria is young. Deana was young too when John started fucking with her."

You wrote Deana but meant Candy I guess ?


Ok I knew John was after Deana but I don't remember him being after Gloria too. I may have miss that or it was too subtle for me.(english is not my first language after all)


About the video... yeah Candy is in deep shit! Evan too. But except beat them up what can he do? He can throw out Candy and Gloria but they would live with Sally. Heck Candy seems to move out an go to Sally.

I thought Evan and Deana were older than that, like 18 and in their last year in highschool.

Wait Becky is one year younger than Evan, meaning she's fifteen, how come she's in Highschool ? Did she skip a grade ?


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2019-Jan-14 @ 6:13 AM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 118

"John's sister is Julia, so Cindy would be from that side of the family."
But Deana looks like her mother and Evan find Cindy looking like Deana. How come Cindy is from John's side then ?

Maybe The kids favor a combination of both their parents and maybe Julia looks a lot like Sandra? Who knows.

"Gloria is young. Deana was young too when John started fucking with her."
You wrote Deana but meant Candy I guess ?
Ok I knew John was after Deana but I don't remember him being after Gloria too. I may have miss that or it was too subtle for me.(english is not my first language after all)

No, I meant what I wrote. You'll have to go back and reread. It was made really clear.

About the video... yeah Candy is in deep shit! Evan too. But except beat them up what can he do? He can throw out Candy and Gloria but they would live with Sally. Heck Candy seems to move out an go to Sally.

Again, it was made very clear why Candy is stuck in John's trap.

I thought Evan and Deana were older than that, like 18 and in their last year in highschool. Not older, but going into their last year, so they could turn 17 during the summer and graduate while they are still 17. I did.

Please don't get caught up in the ages. They are all young, but all quite able to understand sex and want to engage in it. I have a hard time keeping it straight. I've been working on this for years and it has gone through may revisions and major changes.


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2019-Jan-14 @ 6:37 AM
neolyn
Inebriated
Member since 2016-Feb-13
Posts: 49

I just think they are really mature for their age, especially Gloria.

Ok I read it again :

"Deana was young too when John started fucking with her." I understood the "with" in a way meaning John was actually having sex with her. since Evan took her virginity that didn't fit .

I started reading again and there are lot of things that I forgot, didn't pay attention too or didn't understand.

Now I have even more questions about John's side of the family and Sandra.

I think I'll really makes notes. I'm sure some of my questions could be answered my matching infos.

Doesn't look forward to read again the bestiality scenes though. I love Darlene's character, but that part of her is not for me.(I tend to skip them, sorry : / )


My biggest question at the moment is :

Did you already planed all the story or go with the flow ? I mean, in ealier chapters we learn that Candy is not on the pill anymore(neither is Jayda nor Becky) and it's never mentioned again.

So are there irrelevant informations that would make sense latter and seems irrelevant on purpose or are just truly irrelevant and you changed some things along the way because it didn't fit what you are writting?


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2019-Jan-14 @ 10:25 PM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 118

"I love Darlene's character, but that part of her is not for me.(I tend to skip them, sorry : / )"

That is completely understandable, and I often get messages from people who tell me they don't like that or this or they want more of something else. I try to accommodate many without having the characters do something out of character. Everything that happens in this story is based on real people and/or actual events. I knew a girl just like Darlene, dog and all. Becky is based on a friend's little sister from back in junior high, but all people and events have been changed to the point that nobody should be able to know who I'm modeling the character after. The only truly fictional character is Ms. Style.
When you are skimming through the stuff you don't enjoy, make sure you pay attention to the character's internal monolog and memories before and after the yucky part because there is often something important in every scene.

And that leads me to your last question, as I said, this story has gone through many changes since I first wrote it on paper 6 years ago. It was rewritten on paper with major character changes. An example of that would be the fact that Becky wasn't Jason's sister until this final version. When I started posting this, Eric Storm did a great deal of work with me on technical errors I was making, but he also asked questions and made suggestions that caused me to rework the story as I took it from paper to digital. Thank you, Eric, for making this harder for me. He forced me to go way beyond my level of ability, then he told me that was the only way I could grow as an author. He was correct.

"Did you already planed all the story or go with the flow?"
Even with all the changes, the story plot, beginning and ending, have always been the same.

Nothing is irrelevant. Stuff may get lost because so much time passes, but if I write it(other than the types of sex they have) then I had a reason for it. If I had known this was going to go on for such a long time, I would have written it beginning to end before starting the posting process because once I say it and post it, I have to keep up with it and resolve it at some point.


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2019-Jan-14 @ 11:40 PM
neolyn
Inebriated
Member since 2016-Feb-13
Posts: 49

Since the story is based on real people or'actual event, did you somehow put yourself in it?

I glad to know that you planed everything. I read countless work which started great and turned to shit because the author clearly didn't planed beyond a certain point, and everytime it makes me mad .

I finally got to a... scene with darlene and jason and .... brutus. I remembered the part with jason but not with brutus.

I just hope there is a good ending or at least a not too bitter sweet ending.(I can take almost anything so long that John gets what he deserves and that Darlene doesn't end up with Jason).

Still waiting for evan to be cindy, cindy and candy, darlene and jason's mom.

I don't count Gloria because it' pretty sure she's the next onthe list xD

Now that I know that evan is not 16 i'm okay with the both of them together .

In my country 15 and 6 month is the age it's legal for teenager to have sex no matter how older is the partner. That's why I'm not bothered by evan and older women.


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2019-Jan-16 @ 10:35 AM
TabooIsGoodForYou
Tipsy
Member since 2019-Jan-16
Posts: 2

This is by far one of my favorite pieces to read if not my favorite! I was searching different sites to try and find a way to reach out and offer you some encouragement. I can honestly say I would probabaly read your work even if it wasn’t as steamy! I feel like I’m apart of their family now. I know chapter 27 was just posted, but just wanted to let you know, there are people you eagerly awaiting 28!! I’m even debating re reading it again to pass time!


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2019-Jan-17 @ 9:22 PM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 118

TabooIsGoodForYou wrote:

I’m even debating re reading it again to pass time!

That might be a good idea as I have dropped so many hints over such a long period of time. I didn't realize this was going to turn into a frickin' novel. Normally, something this long and complicated is read in a short period, so you are more likely to remember what happened in chapter 5 that has an effect in chapter 20. Jeez, I'm amazed that ya'll have put up with me.
It surprises me when someone tells me they just found the story recently and have read all 27 chapters in days. The story wasn't designed for that. If a chapter ends with sex, and the next one starts with sex, in my mind weeks and sometimes months have passed, yet for the reader, it's only been a few minutes. I picture them rolling their eyes wondering why there is so much sex.

Anyway, thank you for reaching out. I assume you were reading it on nifty if you had to look for a way to give feedback? It had been my understanding when I first posted there that my email address was to be included at the top of the post. I found out it wasn't. I'm so glad I found Wolfpub. Here I don't have to get involved with an admin to post a story, I actually have user id(which Nifty won't give me), and I can repost if errors need to be fixed. Now, if I could just get the readers to tell me where the errors are.
There are many good authors on this site who write great stories, well, unlike the rubbish on many of the other erotica sites.

Chapter 28 is being worked on. Going forward I'll try and do more recapping to help those who read chapter 1 three years ago.


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2019-Jan-19 @ 5:04 AM
TabooIsGoodForYou
Tipsy
Member since 2019-Jan-16
Posts: 2

When reading it in quick succession, you’re right, you notice little hidden clues a lot easier. I started reading it on sexstories, but then had to find nifty to find chapter 6, and that was where I finished reading it. Going back might really be a good idea because I can brush up on the random things that you forget about. I find this series, no different than a new tv series... you find it on Netflix and binge watch it, and then chomp at the bit for the next episode because you feel personally connected with these characters. Gloria and Evan’s stories has been tossed around in my mind 600 different ways, wondering what would happen next, or what roll John plays as far as his over possessiveness. Maybe I can go back and run through some of the continuity and see if I see any gaps in story line. Heck I feel like these characters are my friends anyway lol


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2019-Jan-19 @ 9:12 PM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 118

TabooIsGoodForYou wrote:

Heck I feel like these characters are my friends anyway lol

I can't imagine there is a better compliment you could have given me. Thank you.

Feel free to start a dialog with me through the email link here, and you can throw ideas and questions at me. Who knows you might remind me of things I have forgotten. I spent my writing time the last two days reviewing chapters, so I make sure I get the time-line correct and don't say something that can't happen, which I was going to do. I promise, I read too slow to go back through the whole 320,000 words.


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2019-Jan-20 @ 3:00 AM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 4125

Lesson to be learned:  Keep track of events either before you start writing, or as you are writing.  Trying to do it after the fact is always a nightmare.

Eric Storm


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Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
AMEN! >>> Word Crimes
2019-Jan-22 @ 11:29 PM
neolyn
Inebriated
Member since 2016-Feb-13
Posts: 49

I started my notes, I can send them to you once I'm done, if that can help you. Though it will take a while. At least a week to a month for all chapters currently available


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2019-Jan-23 @ 6:01 AM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 118

Eric Storm wrote:

Lesson to be learned:  Keep track of events either before you start writing, or as you are writing.  Trying to do it after the fact is always a nightmare.

Eric Storm

Live and learn. I admitted from the start that I didn't know what I was doing, but with lots of help from Eric and others, I know a couple of things now.

Neolyn, I'm not sure what you're working on, but at some point, I started making notes on each chapter. I have the main events in each chapter so I know where to look for details.

That's all I need for this story. In the future, I will do a better job right from the get-go.


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2019-Jan-23 @ 4:12 PM
neolyn
Inebriated
Member since 2016-Feb-13
Posts: 49

I was more taking notes on the characters, Who is who, and how/what they are. Not so much the past events since you refer to them often enough.


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2019-Feb-13 @ 7:47 PM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 118

I don't know how so much time goes by without me realizing it. I am working on the next chapter, and nothing else right now, but it's still not done.


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2019-Feb-14 @ 4:29 AM
HendrixMorton
Inebriated
Member since 2017-Aug-4
Posts: 17

Don't rush it....Better to have something up to you normal standard and quality then something rushed and not quite as good as it could be... smile


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