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#1 2016-03-09 16:47:10

Admin
God
From: The Internet
Registered: 2006-09-09
Posts: 500
Website

Potential

Potential

Incestuous action drama

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#2 2016-03-10 16:02:31

bistander
Wasted
Registered: 2015-09-03
Posts: 104

Re: Potential

Forgive me for the dismal formatting of my first post. I used the wrong file format. I have re-posted it. Thank you for your patience and feed back.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#3 2016-03-11 05:30:24

SkiesEnd
Inebriated
Registered: 2015-10-14
Posts: 17

Re: Potential

Seems like an interesting start, not enough to form an opinion yet.  Looking forward to more, thanks for sharing.

(posted from Chapter 1)

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#4 2016-03-18 13:25:17

bistander
Wasted
Registered: 2015-09-03
Posts: 104

Re: Potential

In my pursuit of improving the quality of my stories, any comments are be appreciated. Even if you think it sucks, let me know, that way I'll know I should stop posting.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#5 2016-03-18 23:37:14

Fenixreign
Completely Blotto
Registered: 2014-08-02
Posts: 255

Re: Potential

If you have a story you feel the need to write, you should write it.  The only opinions you should pay any attention to are the ones that are constructive in nature, whether positive or negative.  I haven't read your post yet (I tend to let an author get a couple chapters out before I do) and I can say that I have read quite a few stories, but I will read yours, and, in my experience, the best writers do exactly that:  take the unconstructive bs commentary and ignore it.  Only stop posting if you no longer feel tthe desire to post and don't let that unconstructive commentary push you there.

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#6 2016-03-19 13:14:12

bistander
Wasted
Registered: 2015-09-03
Posts: 104

Re: Potential

Fenixreign, I agree, and I do appreciate constructive feedback, especially when I make a mistake like using a word out of context or the wrong word or if a character is flat or too much like another character. I know I'm asking for free help, but hopefully I'm providing free reading material that at least a few people enjoy. When I said, "Even if you think it sucks..." I was just encouraging the readers to let the authors know they read it and had some reaction.
The story is written, and I'll keep writing regardless, but it's good to have someone else read it. Thanks for your feedback.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#7 2016-03-19 23:28:27

Fenixreign
Completely Blotto
Registered: 2014-08-02
Posts: 255

Re: Potential

As to asking for "free help:"  any decent person would realize that you are providing free entertainment and as such, since you aren't getting paid, editors and proofreaders aren't going to get paid.  You should never feel guilty about asking for help, even the free kind, when it is completely voluntary for us readers to give it and you seem polite enough that I would imagine that if you were asked for assistance you would give it.

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#8 2016-03-20 03:10:50

bistander
Wasted
Registered: 2015-09-03
Posts: 104

Re: Potential

I would.

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#9 2016-03-28 18:52:41

Freon22
Wasted
Registered: 2011-08-17
Posts: 121

Re: Potential

Here is my feedback, GOOD STORY! :-) Really I am surprised that I am liken this story so much. The stories that I normally like have more depth then this story. What I mean by that is more going on then just two guys think about their sisters. Well thinking about it you do have a few things more in the story like the hot mom, touching on racing cars. Then there is the tease that you have with the bother wanting but not wanting sis and mom but fighting to not wanting them. Anyway I think you have just enough mix in your story that it keeps me liking it. The only other thing that I can say is be careful with the teasing, some is fun and cool to read but to much is ?? how to say this boring, disappointing. So far you have a cool story and am looking to reading more.   

btw: I am only a reader and this is opinion, your the author so write the way you feel is right. So far you are doing pretty good.


“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.”

― Abraham Lincoln

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#10 2016-03-29 04:13:45

bistander
Wasted
Registered: 2015-09-03
Posts: 104

Re: Potential

Thanks for the feed back. Good stuff. Don't worry it's not teasing, just building up what's going to happen. These things take years in real life but that would make for a boring story, so I'm stream lining while trying to be realistic.
Plenty more to come. The story is over 500 hand written legal sheets.

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#11 2016-04-05 02:11:35

varocketry
Tipsy
Registered: 2016-04-04
Posts: 1

Re: Potential

Jesus christ, it can't possibly end like that.  Why?

(posted from Chapter 5 Youve got the Devil Inside)

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#12 2016-04-07 01:45:51

bistander
Wasted
Registered: 2015-09-03
Posts: 104

Re: Potential

varocketry wrote:

Jesus christ, it can't possibly end like that.  Why?

(posted from Chapter 5 Youve got the Devil Inside)

It's not over, chapter 6 will be up by the weekend. The story is too long to upload and read all at once. I've tried to read long sex stories and no matter how good the sex is, it can only be described in so many ways and eventually it starts to sound redundant.

It's good to know someone read it, at least.

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#13 2016-04-09 00:23:14

doxonx
Tipsy
Registered: 2016-04-02
Posts: 1

Re: Potential

Hey just dropping by to say I'm enjoying the story and am eagerly awaiting the next chapter. I read most of your work on the XNXX site and followed you here to leave some positive feedback. Never done that before so you're definitely doing something right 3dsmile

Last edited by doxonx (2016-04-09 00:23:32)

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#14 2016-04-09 20:34:01

bistander
Wasted
Registered: 2015-09-03
Posts: 104

Re: Potential

Thank you so much for your support. I wish xn didn't reject most of my stuff. If you feel like it, leave a comment there pointing people here. This site is the best for the writer. It is so easy for me to post a story and it shows up right away, not in days or a week with a rejected message. Even making a correction is easy, and everybody knows I need to make corrections.

Support the site if you can and point other people here. there are some excellent authors here.

Chapter 6 is late because Eric made some very accurate criticism, and more work for me. I'd rather someone bitch because it's late than have it not be as good as it can be. At least if someone bitches I'll know someone is reading it :-)

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#15 2016-04-13 15:58:34

Freon22
Wasted
Registered: 2011-08-17
Posts: 121

Re: Potential

bistander wrote:

At least if someone bitches I'll know someone is reading it :-)

Ok here you go. @#$@&%^ *&!@# why &^$* its ^$#@

LOL that's good Bistander  3dlol


“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.”

― Abraham Lincoln

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#16 2016-04-13 20:30:25

bistander
Wasted
Registered: 2015-09-03
Posts: 104

Re: Potential

Freon22 wrote:

bistander wrote:

At least if someone bitches I'll know someone is reading it :-)

Ok here you go. @#$@&%^ *&!@# why &^$* its ^$#@

LOL that's good Bistander  3dlol

:lol Good one. Thanks for the laugh.

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#17 2016-04-16 21:07:33

drmetz13
Tipsy
Registered: 2016-04-14
Posts: 4

Re: Potential

i like reading this story. i'm starting to form some ideas about things to come. can't wait for more. i enjoyed your other stories over on S S

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#18 2016-04-18 02:20:01

bistander
Wasted
Registered: 2015-09-03
Posts: 104

Re: Potential

drmetz13 wrote:

i like reading this story. i'm starting to form some ideas about things to come. can't wait for more. i enjoyed your other stories over on S S

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Thanks for the feed back. I plan to revise some of my stuff from over on XN's sex stories and bring it here. Most of it could never be re-posted over there. Too bad for that site.
Sorry for the delay on Chapter 6. Before I uploaded it I got some excellent input from Eric, and it motivated me to make some changes. Also got some help from someone who followed me over here from Nifty. It was more work, but it will make the story better in the long run.

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#19 2016-04-25 06:10:00

Jack D
Tipsy
Registered: 2013-12-15
Posts: 1

Re: Potential

I've been enjoying the tension throughout this whole thing. I'm surprised you haven't been getting that much feedback, it is definitely one of my favorite series on the site right now. Well done man.

(posted from Chapter 6: Transference Whats that?)

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#20 2016-04-25 14:52:41

Fenixreign
Completely Blotto
Registered: 2014-08-02
Posts: 255

Re: Potential

I know I said I would get you some feedback, bistander, but unfortunately I have been emotionally and mentally stuck on BTB Cheating Wives stories.  I think I might have issues I should see a therapist about...


ANYWAY, I will get around to it as soon as I can get my head straight.

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#21 2016-04-29 02:49:10

bistander
Wasted
Registered: 2015-09-03
Posts: 104

Re: Potential

Good luck with that. I've had my head up my ass for the last week myself. Hopefully I can pull it out and get busy uploading more.

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#22 2016-05-08 12:04:50

Delta44
Tipsy
Registered: 2016-05-05
Posts: 4

Re: Potential

i am on chapter 5 and when i thought Evan and D have finally accepted their relationship,but amazingly they act like they pretended.so the tease goes on. i love your style 3dsmile

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#23 2016-05-11 02:48:10

bistander
Wasted
Registered: 2015-09-03
Posts: 104

Re: Potential

Sorry for the delay, if anybody noticed. I've been seriously depressed for a few weeks. I think about working everyday and then I can't and that makes me more anxious and down, but I think I'm pulling out of it now. Please don't give up on me. I'm trying.

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#24 2016-05-11 11:27:24

Delta44
Tipsy
Registered: 2016-05-05
Posts: 4

Re: Potential

thanks for update.waiting eagerly.can u make Evan drink some pineapple juice and other fresh fruit juices.will make his c*m taste  better 3dwink
the girls might love that too.
Evan already once broke his heart over Candy.plz replace Gloria with Candy if u have to,because relation with his mother will not end well at end coz of his father.but with sisters he might have chance. Sexual connection is one thing but lets see which girl reachs his soul.m rooting for Deana and Evan.but the way story is building i think a seriuos romantic threesome arc will develop.and we will love that too 3dtongue

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#25 2016-05-11 16:24:18

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 4009
Website

Re: Potential

Delta44 wrote:

can u make Evan drink some pineapple juice and other fresh fruit juices.will make his c*m taste  better 3dwink

Two things:

1. The word is spelled "you", not "u".  We very much prefer actual American English here, not chatspeak.

2. "c*m"?  Really??  Why the hell are you censoring yourself on an erotica website???????

I'd also like to point out that, while there is a load of anecdotal evidence that this works, and a great many people (including my SO) swear by it, there has been no scientific research to prove that it is possible to alter the taste of semen for good or ill.

(Of course, since I happen to like pineapple juice, if she insisted I start drinking it, I wouldn't bother complaining...)
3dsmile

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
AMEN! >>> Word Crimes

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