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#1 2024-08-26 23:32:17
Cum Rag
Cum Rag
Dan's nine year-old sister Bethany follows him to a secret midnight teenage orgy. She isn't interested in sex, but does enjoy watching it and getting messy.
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#2 2024-08-27 00:27:28
- CreepyUnclePete
- Inebriated
- Registered: 2023-01-12
- Posts: 27
Re: Cum Rag
Regarding your main page statement about people being ready at different ages, I strongly agree. Some of my relatives were ready at 15, but I was a socially inept nerd and totally unprepared at 19 - nervous laugh - . On the other hand, fantasies about much lower numbers can be extremely arousing, if they stay in the world of fantasies.
I enjoyed chapter 1 of the story "Cum Rag" quite a bit. I hope you will publish more? I like the idea of teens having a secret orgy in an abandoned house. The younger girl watching and participating a little was naughty and very exciting.
Please understand that I mean the following in a friendly and helpful way. The only negative I noticed was that "coochie" and "willie" were used many, many times. I think using synonyms part of the time could make the story much better.
Overall, pretty good!
Thank you and please keep writing,
Pete
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#3 2024-08-27 11:04:55
- Sam Spayed
- Inebriated
- Registered: 2024-08-25
- Posts: 29
Re: Cum Rag
That's a good point. In my defense, nine year-olds don't have a huge vocabulary but maybe I could have extended it to two or three alternatives.
Last edited by Sam Spayed (2024-10-06 10:37:55)
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#4 2024-09-03 02:58:55
- coeur_minuit
- Inebriated
- Registered: 2023-09-23
- Posts: 15
Re: Cum Rag
Believable and likable characters and (given that they are in a sex filled situation) realistic and well described. Dan had better realize how lucky he is to have a sister like Bethany. Drenched in sex, but even the peripheral characters are relatable and enjoyable. I’m really interested to see if there is more.
(posted from the Item Information Page)
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