Good fun, but would have been nice to have a bit more backstory of the personalities of the characters at the beginning. Jumping straight into the sex killed a bit of the anticipation and excitement.
Could have been so much better with a bit more Build up.

(posted from Chapter 1 - The Kids Arrive)

in your stats list , cock sizes are incomplete ..lol

(posted from Chapter 2 - Life is Spectacular)

Harddreams wrote:

Good fun, but would have been nice to have a bit more backstory of the personalities of the characters at the beginning. Jumping straight into the sex killed a bit of the anticipation and excitement.
Could have been so much better with a bit more Build up.

(posted from Chapter 1 - The Kids Arrive)

I agree somewhat. We do get some of the backstories of the 4 main kids, I would like more details of Bob's life growing up. Why was he estranged from his sister? Some small details of his growing up and the influences that made Bob the man he is.

202 chapters, oh my! Please post more. I think you will have established a record that will never be broken.

You say broader audience, where else have you posted? Just curious. I will still wait here for your additions as I have financially supported this site for a while. Not much but I know what websites cost (because I used to charge for designing and hosting them on my own servers). I'm retired now and sold my business. So, just having fun reading.

Harddreams wrote:

Good fun, but would have been nice to have a bit more backstory of the personalities of the characters at the beginning. Jumping straight into the sex killed a bit of the anticipation and excitement.
Could have been so much better with a bit more Build up.

(posted from Chapter 1 - The Kids Arrive)

I completely agree with you and you'll see my writing style changed (and I hope improve) over time. As I mentioned, it becomes more about the characters and less about the sex.

This is the only story I have ever written. There are over 200 chapters. I'm doing a cleanup edit and will eventually post them all.

Thanks!

Dadrepus wrote:

Harddreams wrote:

Good fun, but would have been nice to have a bit more backstory of the personalities of the characters at the beginning. Jumping straight into the sex killed a bit of the anticipation and excitement.
Could have been so much better with a bit more Build up.

(posted from Chapter 1 - The Kids Arrive)

I agree somewhat. We do get some of the backstories of the 4 main kids, I would like more details of Bob's life growing up. Why was he estranged from his sister? Some small details of his growing up and the influences that made Bob the man he is.

202 chapters, oh my! Please post more. I think you will have established a record that will never be broken.

You say broader audience, where else have you posted? Just curious. I will still wait here for your additions as I have financially supported this site for a while. Not much but I know what websites cost (because I used to charge for designing and hosting them on my own servers). I'm retired now and sold my business. So, just having fun reading.

I never developed his backstory beyond the big age difference with his sister. You'll see Bob grow, a lot. Chapter 40 changes the entire direction of the story (I think for the better).

Harddreams wrote:

in your stats list , cock sizes are incomplete ..lol

(posted from Chapter 2 - Life is Spectacular)

They shouldn't be! Can you give me a specific example?

I have been enjoying this unbelievable story but I am wondering about the timeline. Have you ever compiled a timeline to see if the story is structurally correct. How is it possible they have purchased 7 homes and no-one is aging to any degree. No birthdays? The girls have been 11 too long. There is no way this has gone on for only 1, let alone 2 or 3 years without people aging up. Not only should their ages increase during the stories but also in the list on the bottom of each chapter.

(posted from Chapter 31 - Leslie Turns Blue)

Don't you ever watch the Simpsons?  Fictional characters never age.



Eric Storm

Eric Storm wrote:

Don't you ever watch the Simpsons?  Fictional characters never age.



Eric Storm

Yes I have but we all know they are fictional. But in this story we want to believe they are not, we just haven't met them yet, in person. No, I'm not crazy ;-)

There is a method to my madness. They do age. Honestly, I aged them too fast in the beginning, so I've spread "aging" out a lot so they all don't age out. They did just age again (in about 205). There are some before then. Right now, for example, Leslie is 17.

It has been challenging, so I actually automated it. Every character is in a spreadsheet. They all age at once at the beginning of the chapter.  I wrote a program that "plugs in" the age. For example, <AGE:Leslie> would get replace with 17.

It didn't kick in until about this far in the story, but from here on it should be perfect. I think it already is.

Crazy huh.

Well, I got to 45. Wow, 45 and there is more to come. My oh my, has the direction changed, for the better? We'll see. Is this good enough to me made into several hard cover books? Most definitely with just a little more clean-up. If this is your first book, it is a very impressive start. The fact that over 200 chapters have already been written, any hope on our part to significantly change or alter anything should just be pushed out of our head. We should just enjoy the ride. I have always believed our children are smarter and more mature than we allow them to be so I appreciate the direction.

Oh I simply love suggestions and ideas but yes, patience is required. You'll want to finish (I hope). I publish a new chapter every two weeks. I'm done through mid-2025 .

I'll get them all up here. From about 115 on, I had a great editor, so they're clean. I'm doing a "cleanup pass" through 114 and that's time-consuming.

I hope everyone is enjoying it. It does get a lot more fun.

What I thought to myself self while reading Amy's escapades in this chapter is What happened to the twins? You know, Bob and Amy's kids. They are mentioned so little I feel they have been forgotten. When they went to the beach, where did the little ones go? While Amy was being the school nurse, where were the kids? At their age and the fact that Amy should be lactating....so mother's milk? I don't know how much you want to change besides spelling and grammar but some of these stories seem incomplete without mentioning any of the little ones.

Great turn of events though. If only the pease was true.

(posted from Chapter 59 - Gabe)

Well, seems like I spoke too soon as the Prince Bill and Princess Jessica shows up in this chapter, oh boy.

(posted from Chapter 62 - Fund Raising Is Hard Work)

Chapter 64, pretty entertaining chapter. However I take exception to the comment by Tim (via Amy) that the Lancia Stratos is an ugly car so ugly that it is cute?

Being a former Lancia Zagato owner I have a love for the Stratos but I'll let you be the judge.
https://www.lbspecialistcars.com/str/
This company builds a replica. I don't know too many other cars that have complete replicas being built.

(posted from Chapter 64 - Montreal Needs A School)

Dadrepus wrote:

Well, seems like I spoke too soon as the Prince Bill and Princess Jessica shows up in this chapter, oh boy.

(posted from Chapter 62 - Fund Raising Is Hard Work)

Oh you're going to love Jessica and Bill. They become very important and fun

So, you finally mentioned the Dig. Are we going to learn anything more about this mysterious site? I hope so. This has been a blast so far. While I do like the sexcapades, I like the world building more. Are you going to reveal the magic of the well water or will it remain a secret for most of the novel?

This is truly prolific writing with very few grammar errors or mis-types.

(posted from Chapter 82 - The Swarm)

Dadrepus wrote:

So, you finally mentioned the Dig. Are we going to learn anything more about this mysterious site? I hope so. This has been a blast so far. While I do like the sexcapades, I like the world building more. Are you going to reveal the magic of the well water or will it remain a secret for most of the novel?

This is truly prolific writing with very few grammar errors or mis-types.

(posted from Chapter 82 - The Swarm)

I move away from the well water to what I think is a more believable explanation. You'll get there. I also like the world building more, which is why the sex becomes MUCH less of a focus over time. It's still an undercurrent mut much more implied.

I do work hard on the grammar. In fact I'm re-reading the entire story and doing another edit. It's time-consuming! Then again, it is fun reading it from the beginning. The story has been going on for five years. Just current events have changed so much since then. Who would have predicted Putin's invasion of Ukraine.

Glad you like it. It is a labor of love for me and I spend WAY too much time on it.

Ok, this chapter confused me a bit. Crisis at the U.S. puts Chris as President and U.N. puts Orlando temporarily in charge of Russia. For how long? How is he then going to go on tour with Grace and the others and still manage Russia? Why no more details for the search for Kyrsten and crew. Seems like all these happenings could have been greatly expanded,  before the tangent of musical tour and house buying from Bob and crew. JFC, the President is missing, why isn't Bob and crew coming up with ways to help search? You really could have expanded on this mystery. Sometimes snippets aren't enough.

(posted from Chapter 92 - President, Seriously?)

I just can't get my head wrapped around the timeline. So, everything that has happened so far has only been 6+ years? Cause Bob's sister gave birth to twins six years ago before she died? And the other kids didn't know about the pregnancy or births? Or forgot to tell Bob?Or,Or Or......it boggles my mind.

(posted from Chapter 94 - Ooh La La Rodeo Drive)

Dadrepus wrote:

Ok, this chapter confused me a bit. Crisis at the U.S. puts Chris as President and U.N. puts Orlando temporarily in charge of Russia. For how long? How is he then going to go on tour with Grace and the others and still manage Russia? Why no more details for the search for Kyrsten and crew. Seems like all these happenings could have been greatly expanded,  before the tangent of musical tour and house buying from Bob and crew. JFC, the President is missing, why isn't Bob and crew coming up with ways to help search? You really could have expanded on this mystery. Sometimes snippets aren't enough.

(posted from Chapter 92 - President, Seriously?)

I get your point and I did write some on the search for Kyrsten, but it was boring. Honestly the whole "Chris is President" got a little old. It will wrap up.

As for Orlando being in Russia, that is just until the replace him, so quite short.

It all comes together. Sometimes I don't go into enough depth. You'll actually see that as the story unfolds. I move away from too many snippets in a chapter to much more fleshed out stories in a chapter or across chapters.

My first story. I'm still learning

I should add that in hindsight, I would have fewer threads, although the new characters are fun. I have little notes to myself to go back and explore people. I could likely keep this going for another thousand chapters.

I hope people read it and enjoy it, but it is my little world that I live in

(posted from the Item Information Page)

So, I’ve read all of 200 chapters and for the most part I enjoyed it. Being as old as I am, I’m not so comfortable with man on man sex but I get what you are trying to portray. It is my problem, not your’s.

If I have any real criticism it is the perpetuation of the myth that all Black men have big penises. In fact the research has proven that there is no appreciable difference on average and it shows a weakness in the writings that you keep going back to that stereotype.

Also, and I know this is fiction but the concept of clean up that you have made intrinsic to the sex is a bit dangerous if real life people try this as well. Especially after anal sex. One sees this in many porn sites but what  many might not know Fleet enemas are typically used ahead of any filming to assure a clean hole to put an unwrapped penis in. Otherwise  bacteria might infect his whole urinary tract also one should never go from rectum to vagina no matter how clean you think that asshole may be for the same reason. And cleaning up a penis with feces all over it with your mouth or tongue may be the worst idea ever, for the same reason.

I do like the character developments, personal interaction, and humor you throw in there. Levity is always appreciated. I like the cast of characters with many names having the links to help us remember where we first read about them. I like how you have incorporated real businesses (sexy clothing line for example) weaving them into the story. And yes I do look things up when you dare us. Fun!

I like how you use snippets to tell little stories and sometimes don’t finish them until a much later date…..ancient ruins….lizard people..
Pretty nicely put together in a seemingly random way that really isn’t.

I hope you continue to write and improve the story going forward.

(posted from Chapter 200 - The World)

Thanks for the great feedback. I know that a BBC is a stereotype, but you'll note that a lot of people have big cocks regardless of their ethnicity. But a stereotype here is more about fun, than accuracy. We'll call it artistic license.

I do know the risks of "cleanup", but remember their medical system is much more advanced. They have no risk of STDs for example. Again, more artistic license than anything.

I'm complete through 242, so those will definitely be coming. I have 1,831 unused snippets, most of which are empty, but enough is written to fill 112 more chapters -- they're just all incomplete, meaning there is more. 1,831 snippets, if all done, is easily another 500 chapters.

I'll likely leave this world before then...

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Always looking for feedback, so feel free to post here or write me privately.

(posted from the Item Information Page)