just finished the first draft of Chapter 6, it's darker, way darker than Chapter 3, but really sets us up for the conclusion of Act 1,  Will probably post sometime next week after I have had some time to fine tune it a bit.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Whatever the "Buy Me a Coffee" link is meant to be, it's broken.  On every chapter.  I'd say check the address and retype it here.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

DoomCock wrote:

Whatever the "Buy Me a Coffee" link is meant to be, it's broken.  On every chapter.  I'd say check the address and retype it here.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, do not bring technical issues to the attention of the authors: bring them to the attention of the administration, through the contact form on the main site, or by emailing me directly.  Especially with something like this, it is likely that the author will not have the technical knowledge to know how to fix the problem.

In this case, I diagnosed the problem.  The author has used a relative URL instead of an absolute URL in his link, and that won't work.  What he included was:

<a href="buymeacoff.ee/NvnXxh10l">Buy Me a Coffee</a>

Note the missing "http://www." part.  The server will "recognize" this as a local file, not as a website (because "buymeacoff.ee/NvnXxh10l" is a perfectly legitimate Linux directory and filename...)  What he meant to use was the following:

<a href="http://www.buymeacoff.ee/NvnXxh10l">Buy Me a Coffee</a>

This tells the server to look out on the rest of the internet for what's being asked for.  In any case, here's the link you need: Buy Him a Coffee

Eric Storm

Thanks DC and Eric, 

sorry, my mistake. and the funny thing is .... I do have the technical know-how, I just totaly missed that LOL.

I hope you are all enjoying the story so far.   I have been struggling with the next chapter "Surrogate Serum" for a week or two now.  I should have it out soon as soon as I managed to tame a few personal demons.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

No worries, we all goof up from time to time.  My technical explanation wasn't so much for your benefit (though if you'd needed it, there it was...), it was to show others how complicated web-page coding can be, so that they'll understand why I tell them not to bother the authors with this stuff.

But since you know how, get off your butt and fix it!  LMAO    just kidding.

Eric Storm

Read what you have posted so far and  thoroughly enjoyed it. Hope to see an update soon.

Nooooooo I need more. What a cliff hanger

(posted from Surrogate Serum)

Enjoyed the story gripping from the 1st chapter. I hope you return to it one day

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Billybob1969 wrote:

Enjoyed the story gripping from the 1st chapter. I hope you return to it one day

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Thank you,  I have began writing again.    just posted the next chapter in Bliss ( same universe different story )
I will be finishing the next chapter of Cabal next.

Ser_Orc wrote:

Nooooooo I need more. What a cliff hanger

(posted from Surrogate Serum)

and you got the cliffhanger twice LOL.  Penny's last chapter can Cabal's last chapter sort of ended the same way.

YES I am writing again.  as posted a moment ago.  next chapter of Cabal is coming soon

good story hope to read more from this writer soon

(posted from Surrogate Serum)

edjueinnest wrote:

good story hope to read more from this writer soon

(posted from Surrogate Serum)

Thank you, thank you, thank you..

:-)  I live for the feedback.

i'm currently writing the next Chapter of Cabal.   Papa's love should come out from under Permium status soon.

if there is anything in particular you like about the story let me know. so I can focus more on it /

have a great day.

Will it be finished?

(posted from Pappas Love)

Wow, this was really well done. Nothing offended me, story was intriguing, well thought out. Can't wait for the next chapter. How soon?

(posted from Pappas Love)

I just discovered the story of "Cabal" and I have to say it's one of the best stories I've read anywhere. You have an impressive imagination and the twists and turns were electrifying. I'm very saddened that nothing has been added to it since 2020. Is there somewhere else that has the completed story?

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Raincheck wrote:

I just discovered the story of "Cabal" and I have to say it's one of the best stories I've read anywhere. You have an impressive imagination and the twists and turns were electrifying. I'm very saddened that nothing has been added to it since 2020. Is there somewhere else that has the completed story?

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Thank you. 

Sadly, I have been working on and off on the next chapter well next few actualy for a few years.   Life got in the way and writing had to take a back seat to a lot of other stuff.
But in short, I sort of wrote myself into a Martinesq Meranese Knot and took me a while to figure my way out of it.

I just posted the next chapter.   "Catharsis" tonight.   It was a difficult chapter to write.   Mainly because of where/when it takes place.   In short when writing a chapter I like to focus on one or two key points of plot I want to address, maybe 10-20% world building and descriptive detail, and don’t show anything that is not relevant to the story, in service of the plot, or well Hot.     However this first full day of our MC in his new environment lets say.   Everything was new and interesting, way to much for him to think about etc.   there is a LOT of plot and world building here, but I did manage to work in some hotness in the beginning middle and end of the chapter.   The bit in the middle is sort of a flash forward so that there is not 20 pages of no sex to bore the crap out of readers who are not here for the story.

Let me know if you think the flash forward/flash back doesn’t work..  I kind of like after re-reading a bunch of times.  It’s like a tease of whats to come.

The next chapters will be:
First Time Again ( tentative title ): Penny
Home Front: Mark
Therapy: Mark
Family Matters: Mark
Cry for Help: Mark

And this should rap up act II

Planned titles and plots for Act III are well VERY tentative but are as follows:

Wicked Bitch: Penelope
Flight of Fancy: Mark
The kindness of Strangers: Mark
New Daddy: Mark
Making Music: Mark
Saving Grace: Mark.

This is the plan end of the first book.   Given what I have written so far has deviated a lot from my original outline. As new ideas spring to mind as I write.

**Author’s Notes**

Ok, so yea.  As I mentioned in my Notes on Chapter 9 in the synopsis,  after a re-listen ( I like to use Text to Speech engines to review and edit my writing while I am working on it ).  I noticed last week that I horribly mischaracterized the girls ( Penny, Andy and Cassy ) in the 1939 timeline.   Especially Cassandra ( Cassy ),  at this point in the story she should be six years old, and she reads as more of a two to three year old.  There are also some issues with Andromeda and Penelope but much less as neither of them get a lot of Dialog.

Further, in doing some research on how to handle this I have reviewed a lot of the earlyer chapters and realized there are some things I forgot. And some things I have planned that really impact this.
So Plan of Action:

#1 I am going to rewrite the “Forbidden Fruit�  section of Chapter 9 to portray Cassy a bit more age appropriately for a six year old.   The overall what happens, and it’s affect on Mark / Frank will not change, but Cassy should be a more active player in the scene.  A few more minor edits to the “Tiny Dancers�  section as well but not a major re-write.

#2 I am going to do a full Edit Pass on Chapters 1 – 9, in doing some reviews I’ve noticed a lot of minor ( un-intentional ) errors in grammar and spelling.    Those edits will not be worth a re-read, the story of those chapters will not change.  But I’d like to make it as clean as possible.

#3 I will then get back to writing Chapter 10, now called “Prayers� , a 9 year old Penny focused chapter, where we find out more about what happened between the end of October 1938 and August of 1939, up to and including Penny’s POV on Mark’s first few days in Franks body.  Chapter 11 will continue Mark’s story.

Abaddon.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Just completed an updated version of Chapter Nine: Catharsis.
While I fixed a lot of spelling and grammar issues, the main thing was a correction to a number of continuity issues. ( such as Mark and Penelope’s middle names being wrong ).  But the number one issue that is now fixed is the Characterization of Cassandra who is six years old in August of 1939.  In the original version of this chapter, she read like a 2-3 year old.   The dialog was all wrong.
Cassandra is very important to later parts of the story so I could not just age her younger.  It was better to just re-write the two sections featuring her to make her more developmentally appropriate for he age.  E.g. few miss pronunciations of words,  understanding that words can have multiple meanings, and in general acting like a little adult, but maintaining the child like innocence.
Over the next week or two I am going to do a “Full Edit” pass on all the preceding chapters.  I do not plan to alter the earlyer story in any way, but I do want to correct any continuity errors, and ill fix any spelling or grammar issues I find along the way.
THEN I will get back to writing Chapter 10: Prayers, a Penny focused chapter.  As stated previously Mark’s story continues in Chapter 11: Home Front.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Can't wait. I love stories with a few twists and turns. You have me enthralled.

Thanks Dadrepus, I truly apricate the feedback and comment.

I just posted Chapter 10, for the most part it's a Re-telling +++ of the events from Chapter 9 but from Penny's point of view.  Her experiences overlap with Mark's but there is a lot more going on in her life than Mark is aware of .. I hope you like it.

PS it's PREM for 30 days. 
I will be posting all future chapters in this manner, hopefully to help out the site.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Author Note: I just posted an Update to Chapter 3
Not worth a re-read if you have already read it.
Just fixing a continuity issue. and a bunch of spelling mistakes.
the overall content has not changed.  R. Cotton is a tiny bit more representable, and the one reference to Gracie's mother is removed because she would have already passed away by OCT of 1938

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Just Read the whole story in one go, I love it so far hopefully there will be more chapters soon

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Alex_Rider wrote:

Just Read the whole story in one go, I love it so far hopefully there will be more chapters soon

(posted from the Item Information Page)

THANK YOU, for the feedback,

The next two chapters are nearly ready to publish, and currently working on the one after that.

C11:  Eyes of the Oracle,  should post for PRIM later this week.
C12: Home Front, should post to PRIM about two weeks after.
C13: Therapy,  TBD


P.S.  is there anything in particular you like or dislike about the story so far.

abaddon.pale wrote:

P.S.  is there anything in particular you like or dislike about the story so far.

If I had to pin it down, I'd say I really like the esoteric and mystic setting of the story.
But I sometimes get a little bit confused with the timeline.

Alex_Rider wrote:

abaddon.pale wrote:

P.S.  is there anything in particular you like or dislike about the story so far.

If I had to pin it down, I'd say I really like the esoteric and mystic setting of the story.
But I sometimes get a little bit confused with the timeline.

Thanks,  and the setting is also one of my favorite aspects,  it has elements of a lot of my favorite stories, but is also unique unto itself.

as for the Timelines

there are two main ones.

Primary Timeline takes place in Mid-September of 1964 when Mark Meet's ZeeAl for the first time.

Flash Back Timeline(s)  we first flash back to 1938 in a Penelope memory, she is sharing via conversation with her sister, but we see as we are there.
Then in Papa's love, Mark is sent back in time ( is mind,soul,power...etc but not his body ) into Frank Whitemore's body.  this is at the end of august 1939.

all other time shifts are just flash forward backwards a few hours.  "Thinking About" stuff sort of things, those are really mostly done to break up the narrative, in sections at I felt were getting a bit dry, or to add a sort of narrative punctuation.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback.  I hope you will enjoy the new chapters as they get released.