That was a wild opening chapter!

(posted from Misty)

JustLucky wrote:

That was a wild opening chapter!

(posted from Misty)

THANK YOU for the feedback JustLucky! I live for feedback. Especialy given this story is a bit of a departure from my other two.

I have Chapter 2 written in Draft 2... I need to give it a few more edit passes before its ready for publishing.

I also have the first two sections of Chapter 3 written. I plan to publish them both at the same time with 2 being open and 3 being PRM.

Back on Bliss next, then back to Cabal.

If this isnt the hottest new story in The Pub id be bloody surprised...
AP you've outdone yourself, the story arc and subplots have kept me glued to the screen :-)

(posted from Recovery)

JustLucky wrote:

If this isnt the hottest new story in The Pub id be bloody surprised...
AP you've outdone yourself, the story arc and subplots have kept me glued to the screen :-)

(posted from Recovery)

Thank you JL for your very kind words.

I would also like to thank Eric Storm, Saran, Dadrepus and and Vash the Stampede, all of whom gave me some suggestions for improving bits here and there.

I have to admit I am enjoying the writing of this story.  Not that I have lost passion for Cabal and Bliss.  I will be putting out a couple of chapters of Bliss next. Then Back to Misty, Then Back to Cabal.

@JustLucky
I'm active on the MWP Discord Server.  If you want to IM me from there with any notes or suggestions on the story.. Please do. I cannot prommise to take all suggestions. but if I can work something into the story for you I will.

I'm enjoying the story - and look forward to reading more - but it could seriously use an editor.

I lost count of the number of "your" instead of "you're", "steel" where it should be "steal", "dieing" instead of "dying" etc.


Each time it pulled me out of the story - and that's why I've given it a rating of 3, rather than a 4 or 5.

(posted from Recovery)

sadimlonely wrote:

that's why I've given it a rating of 3, rather than a 4 or 5.

Well, now that would be a neat trick, since there is no numerical rating system on the site... 

I would think that, if you intend on reading further, it would at least warrant a "Definitely worth my time", since those ratings are not intended to rank stories, they're intended to help you find similar stories.  Under-rating it because of mechanics only hurts your recommended reading list.

Eric Storm

sadimlonely wrote:

I'm enjoying the story - and look forward to reading more - but it could seriously use an editor.

I lost count of the number of "your" instead of "you're", "steel" where it should be "steal", "dieing" instead of "dying" etc.


Each time it pulled me out of the story - and that's why I've given it a rating of 3, rather than a 4 or 5.

(posted from Recovery)

Thanks for the feedback sadimlonely,

Spelling has always been a huge challenge for me.  I do run my stories through multiple edit passes using AI Grammar tools and text to speech ( so I can listen to how it sounds ) and make lot of edits before post.
But Even AI tools seem to have trouble finding those kinds of errors.  Obviously I'm a phonetic speller. But I will try to do better. and I will go back and give these chapters anotehr edit pass ASAP.

I am currently working on the next two chapters of Misty.  but I need to get back to Bliss and Cabal after that.

Abaddon.

I am greatly enjoying this story.

One minor point -  Stockholm Syndrome has been credibly debunked. It turns out that the psychologist who wrote the original paper had issues and the authorities, when ending the hostage situation, endangered the hostages more than their captors did. A detective could still think such a book would be useful, however.

(posted from Recovery)

HOLY shit!
There HAS to be more to this story :-)

(posted from Recovery)

Sam Spayed wrote:

I am greatly enjoying this story.

One minor point -  Stockholm Syndrome has been credibly debunked. It turns out that the psychologist who wrote the original paper had issues and the authorities, when ending the hostage situation, endangered the hostages more than their captors did. A detective could still think such a book would be useful, however.

(posted from Recovery)

Sam.

THANKS! for the outstanding feedback.

Yes I agree on both counts.. While I was not aware that Stockholm Syndrome has been debunked. It is still valid that the Detective and others would still believe in it.   Furthermore there is validity to some aspects of it.  People fall in love with their abusers all the freaking time. It has to do with the breakdown of the ego and self esteem.   Regardless... Not sure if you picked up on it or not... but Stockholm, Operaent etc none of that is really whats going on here.

I think I have dropped enough clues but more are coming in chapters 4-6.

JustLucky wrote:

HOLY shit!
There HAS to be more to this story :-)

(posted from Recovery)

THANKS Lucky!

I am working on chapters 4-6 now..  I took a long break from writing over the summer... life has a way of getting in the way.

I just re-post chapters 1-3 because I did a lot of editing on them.. No real content changes but a lot of text cleanup.

Nicely written AP. I really enjoyed the story this far(actually lost sleep because I couldn't stop reading) and I am looking forward to the rest of the story.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Maverick7508 wrote:

Nicely written AP. I really enjoyed the story this far(actually lost sleep because I couldn't stop reading) and I am looking forward to the rest of the story.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Thank you Maverick...

I am working on chap 4-6 now.

Is there anything specific you like about the story?  Plot Points, Character elements etc. Let me know.

abaddon.pale wrote:

Thank you Maverick...

I am working on chap 4-6 now.

Is there anything specific you like about the story?  Plot Points, Character elements etc. Let me know.

Not sure really. The MC is well defined and has realistic personality traits considered what he has experienced.

Most if not all of the characters introduced have acted as one would expect in both of the phases of chapter 2.

The plot, while dark as hell, illustrates accurately the darkness human nature is capable of.

I like it all man. In the words of Londo Molari; "Whatever you have been doing, keep it up."

abaddon.pale wrote:

People fall in love with their abusers all the freaking time. It has to do with the breakdown of the ego and self esteem.

It's OT at this point, but people don't fall in love with an abuser. They fall in love with someone who is behaving lovingly. The abuse only starts, gradually, when they are committed. Like all good cons, there is a sunk-cost fallacy -- the more time and effort they have committed to the relationship, the more the abuser can get away with.
But Stockholm Syndrome is supposed to be someone falling in love with a person who is already abusive.

Regardless... Not sure if you picked up on it or not... but Stockholm, Operaent etc none of that is really whats going on here.

I did pick it up. there was a definite point where I said to myself, "ah, this is one of those stories."

MORE, please?!!

(posted from Recovery)

Maverick7508 wrote:

abaddon.pale wrote:

Thank you Maverick...

I am working on chap 4-6 now.

Is there anything specific you like about the story?  Plot Points, Character elements etc. Let me know.

Not sure really. The MC is well defined and has realistic personality traits considered what he has experienced.

Most if not all of the characters introduced have acted as one would expect in both of the phases of chapter 2.

The plot, while dark as hell, illustrates accurately the darkness human nature is capable of.

I like it all man. In the words of Londo Molari; "Whatever you have been doing, keep it up."

Londo Freaking Molari... Fucking Eeh... Love that show and love that character!

I'm getting back to writing now.. been a way for a bit..

Thanks for the feedback.  It REALLY helps motivate me to write.

The plot thickens.........
A hint of "Ability".......
MORE MORE :-)

(posted from Discharge)

Please don’t keep us waiting too long for the next chapter!  Love your story!!

(posted from Discharge)

I really wish the Cad books were real. I'd add them to my TBR pile.

(posted from Recovery)

NoMercy745 wrote:

I really wish the Cad books were real. I'd add them to my TBR pile.

(posted from Recovery)

I am considering writing them.  Each chapter of Misty has given me a better idea of what they are and what happens. so I may have enough plot elements to really write it.  Will see.

Absolutely beautiful. Please keep the story going.

(posted from Home Comeing)

Wicked420 wrote:

Absolutely beautiful. Please keep the story going.

(posted from Home Comeing)

Planning on it.  But I also need to put out a few chapters from my other stories.  Both have been on hold for a while.

Well AP, you've outdone yourself :-)
I almost feel sorry for the non members that cant read the new chapters...... Almost.

(posted from Home Comeing)

JustLucky wrote:

Well AP, you've outdone yourself :-)
I almost feel sorry for the non members that cant read the new chapters...... Almost.

(posted from Home Comeing)

Actually it's been a while since I posted anything so I didn't make this one PRM, I will likely do so the next round.

Glad you liked this chapter.  more to come.