A Touch of Green

Ben is gifted a unique influence to affect the women in his life or he encounters. He starts down the path of exploration. His interest is piqued. He clearly has his own ideas of what he wants though.

Your creative use of descriptors is very poetic, it really gives a feel for the characters admiration of the individual you start out describing at the onset of your story. You put in a good balance of normal writing and poetic. It’s a nice change to some of what I read very often.

The multiple Character point of views is a nice shift, and it’s a good way to giving us the readers a feel for what the other characters are feeling lol. Sorry for writing the word characters so many times, lol. I have enjoyed what you have written so far, and am looking forward to more of your work. The warmth and gentleness of your eroticism in the story is also very interesting.

(posted from One)

A very nice and refreshing read, I can't wait to see what you end up doing with the characters.

I'm in something like my third or fourth re-write of the second chapter. The side characters somehow seem to be drawing me away from the intended purpose, so it is not coming out smoothly and may be delayed a bit.

Perhaps your characters are trying to tell you something.  Maybe there's a story you'd rather be telling than the one you're intending.

Eric Storm

I think it more likely they're trying to rush the story to conclusion actually. Frustrating, ya know.

yes!! thank you. it is so hard to find good D/s that is not just s/M. keep up the good work.

(posted from Altered State)

Very much enjoy the start of this story and where it appears to be headed. Definitely enjoy your writing style. I typically measure the success of a story by whether I would read it without the sex scenes. This is definitely a story that would stand tall using that criteria. I look forward to reading your next installments.

I really hate my spelling errors and pre-post editing flubs. In a big way. It is good to know some of you are enjoying the story. It should only have a few more chapters to completion.

I'm really enjoying the story.

Also am enjoying the story, so thank you for sharing it with us.

Found what I think is a mixed reference in “Millenium†. My wife and I have been going to popular operas over the last few years. Rossini did The Barber of Seville (very fun opera), then Mozart carried the characters over to The Marriage of Figaro (Le Nozze di Figaro).

GornBCS wrote:

Also am enjoying the story, so thank you for sharing it with us.

Found what I think is a mixed reference in “Millenium� . My wife and I have been going to popular operas over the last few years. Rossini did The Barber of Seville (very fun opera), then Mozart carried the characters over to The Marriage of Figaro (Le Nozze di Figaro).

it's a flub. i often screw up with music & lyrics & titles & artists & composers & even periods. mistakes R us. sorry.

No trouble! Figaro was the main character in the Barber of Seville, so I can understand the confusion.

write. re-write. write again.

Seems like the quality keeps going up.  Thanks for the latest installment.

awesome... looking forward to teh next chapter. that one is gonna be really mindblowing (if not mine then at least some story characters minds)  i think

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Wonderful story, shame you don't want to do a sequel but I guess they often fall flat.

(posted from Denouement)

I just don't plan one. I'd have to have a reasoned plot at this point.

Thank you Blackie.  I really enjoyed the story.  Great balance of "story" and erotica.  Fun premise and concepts.  Well executed.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

I really enjoyed A Touch of Green. In fact, just finished a second reading. I hope you will be submitting more stories. Have you considered posting to the Erotic Mind Control Story Archive again?

howard wrote:

... shame you don't want to do a sequel ...

Okay, I admit it wasn't my intent. But Ashes is in the same world as Touch was. It came along after I had tried writing a couple chapters for something else that fell flat, which led to a short story instead.

A delightfully complete story. Intriguing concept with sex woven into the fabric of the story without it being the main concern. It is a story with some sex in it as apposed to a sex story. I enjoyed it immensely.

(posted from Denouement)