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2017-Jul-14 @ 6:13 PM | |
Bridget Barmaid Member since 2006-Sep-9 Posts: 802 |
A Touch of Green ----- Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide. SITE CONTENT POLICY: The administrator of this site will not reject, remove, or censor any story posted to this site based on the story's content. No story shall be removed except for purely technical reasons (which will be worked out with the author so that the story can be reposted as quickly as possible), or due to a direct order from the site's hosting provider, a law-enforcement entity, or the story's owner. |
2017-Jul-15 @ 6:51 AM | |
Wicked Storm Contributor Member since 2012-Jun-16 Posts: 372 |
Your creative use of descriptors is very poetic, it really gives a feel for the characters admiration of the individual you start out describing at the onset of your story. You put in a good balance of normal writing and poetic. It’s a nice change to some of what I read very often.
----- In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly. |
2017-Jul-19 @ 7:10 AM | |
peace2300 Inebriated Member since 2011-Sep-13 Posts: 29 |
A very nice and refreshing read, I can't wait to see what you end up doing with the characters. ----- |
2017-Aug-3 @ 11:49 PM | |
Blackie Contributor Member since 2017-Jul-13 Posts: 72 |
I'm in something like my third or fourth re-write of the second chapter. The side characters somehow seem to be drawing me away from the intended purpose, so it is not coming out smoothly and may be delayed a bit. ----- -Himself "Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland |
2017-Aug-4 @ 12:52 AM | |
Eric Storm Pub Owner Member since 2006-Sep-13 Posts: 5804 |
Perhaps your characters are trying to tell you something. Maybe there's a story you'd rather be telling than the one you're intending. ----- Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM. ---- Facebook page |
2017-Aug-4 @ 4:49 AM | |
Blackie Contributor Member since 2017-Jul-13 Posts: 72 |
I think it more likely they're trying to rush the story to conclusion actually. Frustrating, ya know. ----- -Himself "Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland |
2017-Sep-1 @ 8:00 PM | |
Zombie Wolf Tipsy Member since 2016-Nov-14 Posts: 4 |
yes!! thank you. it is so hard to find good D/s that is not just s/M. keep up the good work. ----- |
2017-Sep-27 @ 4:09 AM | |
td219 Tipsy Member since 2016-May-27 Posts: 7 |
Very much enjoy the start of this story and where it appears to be headed. Definitely enjoy your writing style. I typically measure the success of a story by whether I would read it without the sex scenes. This is definitely a story that would stand tall using that criteria. I look forward to reading your next installments. ----- |
2017-Oct-3 @ 1:37 AM | |
Blackie Contributor Member since 2017-Jul-13 Posts: 72 |
I really hate my spelling errors and pre-post editing flubs. In a big way. It is good to know some of you are enjoying the story. It should only have a few more chapters to completion. ----- -Himself "Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland |
2017-Oct-3 @ 2:07 AM | |
Tuzzdeny Inebriated Member since 2015-May-17 Posts: 13 |
I'm really enjoying the story. ----- |
2017-Oct-9 @ 8:13 AM | |
GornBCS Tipsy Member since 2015-Jan-4 Posts: 6 |
Also am enjoying the story, so thank you for sharing it with us. ----- |
2017-Oct-9 @ 10:00 AM | |
Blackie Contributor Member since 2017-Jul-13 Posts: 72 |
it's a flub. i often screw up with music & lyrics & titles & artists & composers & even periods. mistakes R us. sorry. ----- -Himself "Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland |
2017-Oct-9 @ 3:51 PM | |
GornBCS Tipsy Member since 2015-Jan-4 Posts: 6 |
No trouble! Figaro was the main character in the Barber of Seville, so I can understand the confusion. ----- |
2017-Oct-13 @ 9:58 PM | |
Blackie Contributor Member since 2017-Jul-13 Posts: 72 |
write. re-write. write again. ----- -Himself "Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland |
2017-Oct-23 @ 9:46 PM | |
Tuzzdeny Inebriated Member since 2015-May-17 Posts: 13 |
Seems like the quality keeps going up. Thanks for the latest installment. ----- |
2017-Oct-24 @ 7:08 PM | |
Cheezes Inebriated Member since 2015-Aug-17 Posts: 11 |
awesome... looking forward to teh next chapter. that one is gonna be really mindblowing (if not mine then at least some story characters minds) i think ----- |
2017-Oct-25 @ 5:49 AM | |
howard Inebriated Member since 2016-Dec-1 Posts: 20 |
Wonderful story, shame you don't want to do a sequel but I guess they often fall flat. ----- |
2017-Oct-25 @ 6:50 AM | |
Blackie Contributor Member since 2017-Jul-13 Posts: 72 |
I just don't plan one. I'd have to have a reasoned plot at this point. ----- -Himself "Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland |
2017-Oct-27 @ 10:23 PM | |
Darkside_6 Inebriated Member since 2016-Aug-10 Posts: 10 |
Thank you Blackie. I really enjoyed the story. Great balance of "story" and erotica. Fun premise and concepts. Well executed. ----- |
2018-May-1 @ 1:26 PM | |
Franco Tipsy Member since 2007-Aug-24 Posts: 4 |
I really enjoyed A Touch of Green. In fact, just finished a second reading. I hope you will be submitting more stories. Have you considered posting to the Erotic Mind Control Story Archive again? ----- |
2019-May-20 @ 7:07 PM | |
Blackie Contributor Member since 2017-Jul-13 Posts: 72 |
Okay, I admit it wasn't my intent. But Ashes is in the same world as Touch was. It came along after I had tried writing a couple chapters for something else that fell flat, which led to a short story instead. ----- -Himself "Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland |
2023-Jun-30 @ 12:37 AM | |
Dadrepus Wasted Member since 2023-Jan-12 Posts: 112 |
A delightfully complete story. Intriguing concept with sex woven into the fabric of the story without it being the main concern. It is a story with some sex in it as apposed to a sex story. I enjoyed it immensely. ----- Always willing to help. May not be good at it ;-) |