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The following makes any sense to you. Warning, this code is not safe for work.
$David = new Male(); $Olissa = new Female(); do { $David->doForePlay( $Olissa ); } while( $Olissa->isAroused() == false ) while( $David->isHorny() == true and $Olissa->isSore() == false ) { $David->insertDick( $Olissa, "pussy" ); while( $Olissa->hasOrgasm() == false ) { $David->doThrust(); $chance_of_pos_change = rand( 0, 100 ); if( $chance_of_pos_change >= 98 ) { $positions = array( "Missionary", "Doggy-Style", "Cowgirl", "Reverse-Cowgirl", "Standing", "In Chair" ) $new_position = $positions[ rand(0, count($positions) - 1 )]; $David->doChangePos( $Olissa, $new_position ) } if( $David->hasOrgasm() == true ) { $David->ghostsSelf(); $Olissa->doForePlay( $David, "oral" ); $David->insertDick( $Olissa, "pussy" ); } } $Olissa->doRestPeriod(); $David->checkHorniness(); if( $David->isTired() AND $Olissa->isTired() ) { sleep( 3600 ); } }
This little joke came to mind when I told Keeshaba that I needed to be programming... or writing... but preferably not both at the same time. Now you see why!
Eric Storm
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What would someone call this coding style ??? PHPsexingcode ?
I tried running your code and got some weird thing happening.
Last edited by Freon22 (2016-04-13 16:09:35)
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does it make me an even bigger computer geek if my first thought was that I wanted to see the coding for the male() and female() object classes?
also the checkhorniness() function seems a bit redundant when you earlier just used the isHorny() function to fulfill this process
just sayin
-tyme
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You'll note that the checkHorniness() function doesn't return a value. It's an internal function to set the value returned by the isHorny() function. Theoretically they could be joined, but one can assume there are reasons for separating an internal check from an external reading.
Eric Storm
PS: I'm a PHP programmer. The usefulness of Object-Oriented Programming in a "start-run-stop" environment is, truthfully, almost nil, and I don't use it. OOP's only real power is in a program that runs continuously.
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I always found that if I had to run the same sequence of code more than twice, it was worth throwing it out into an object just to streamline and shorten the code a little bit... old programming practice from back when size did matter
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Creating an object for a "sequence of code" is overkill and wasteful of memory. What you wanted was a simple function. And yes, generally speaking, any piece of code more than 2 lines long that I have to run more than two or three times, I convert to a function as well. And that's the point: In PHP, you can serve all the usefulness of objects with an array for data, and a set of functions. Because PHP code runs only long enough to create a webpage, the usefulness of OOP is minimized to the point of near uselessness. I guess it serves for those people coming from OOP languages to more easily code in PHP. Beyond that, I haven't seen the need for it. Since you cannot easily carry those objects over into the next page creation, which would be the real power of OOP, it just doesn't add much to the language.
I do find it humorous that the term used to mean "non-OOP code" these days is "procedural". ALL PHP code is procedural, because the only alternative to procedural is event-driven, and PHP is not an event-driven language.
As to the male() and female() object classes, all I can tell you is that the male() class takes up about 20KB to define. The female() class takes 3GB.
Eric Storm
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Eric Storm wrote:
The female() class takes 3GB
and yet still returns an invalid or undetermined value more often than not...
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Only if you attempt to process it through the male() object. If you process it through another female() object, you'll get a result about 85% of the time. The other 15% of the time, you just get back "EXCEPTION ENCOUNTERED: female->otherFemaleIsBitch(): memory overflow".
Eric Storm
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the isAroused() function will have to contain check for hasInterest($David), hasHeadache(), acceptLocation() and isConsenting().
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Don't we need a
if ($Olissa->beengoodslave() == false)
$David->dospanking($Olissa, "ass")
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as an aside. I geeked out a bit today when I saw a barcode that ended in 8088
I started remembering my old computer processors
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