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#1 2016-04-06 02:19:50

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 3652
Website

You might be a computer geek if...

The following makes any sense to you.  Warning, this code is not safe for work. 
3dwink

Code:

$David = new Male();
$Olissa = new Female();

do
{
    $David->doForePlay( $Olissa );
} while( $Olissa->isAroused() == false )

while( $David->isHorny() == true and $Olissa->isSore() == false )
{
    
    $David->insertDick( $Olissa, "pussy" );

    while( $Olissa->hasOrgasm() == false )
    {
        $David->doThrust();
        $chance_of_pos_change = rand( 0, 100 );
        if( $chance_of_pos_change >= 98 )
        {
            $positions = array( "Missionary", "Doggy-Style", "Cowgirl", "Reverse-Cowgirl", "Standing", "In Chair" )
            $new_position = $positions[ rand(0, count($positions) - 1 )];
            $David->doChangePos( $Olissa, $new_position )
        }
        
        if( $David->hasOrgasm() == true )
        {
            $David->ghostsSelf();
            $Olissa->doForePlay( $David, "oral" );
            $David->insertDick( $Olissa, "pussy" );
        }
    }

    $Olissa->doRestPeriod();
    $David->checkHorniness();
    
    if( $David->isTired() AND $Olissa->isTired() )
    {
        sleep( 3600 );
    }
    
}

This little joke came to mind when I told Keeshaba that I needed to be programming... or writing... but preferably not both at the same time.  Now you see why!

3dbig_smile

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
I thought a thought.  But the thought I thought I thought, was not the thought I thought, I thought.  If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought... I wouldn't have thought so much!

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#2 2016-04-13 16:07:54

Freon22
Wasted
Registered: 2011-08-17
Posts: 120

Re: You might be a computer geek if...

What would someone call this coding style ??? PHPsexingcode ?

3dlol

I tried running your code and got some weird thing happening.

Last edited by Freon22 (2016-04-13 16:09:35)


“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.”

― Abraham Lincoln

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#3 2016-04-25 04:53:53

fathertyme
Inebriated
From: Second star to the right
Registered: 2009-02-18
Posts: 65

Re: You might be a computer geek if...

does it make me an even bigger computer geek if my first thought was that I wanted to see the coding for the male() and female() object classes?

also the checkhorniness() function seems a bit redundant when you earlier just used the isHorny() function to fulfill this process

just sayin 3dtongue

-tyme

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#4 2016-04-25 05:40:51

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 3652
Website

Re: You might be a computer geek if...

You'll note that the checkHorniness() function doesn't return a value.  It's an internal function to set the value returned by the isHorny() function.  Theoretically they could be joined, but one can assume there are reasons for separating an internal check from an external reading.

Eric Storm

PS:  I'm a PHP programmer.  The usefulness of Object-Oriented Programming in a "start-run-stop" environment is, truthfully, almost nil, and I don't use it.  OOP's only real power is in a program that runs continuously.


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
I thought a thought.  But the thought I thought I thought, was not the thought I thought, I thought.  If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought... I wouldn't have thought so much!

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#5 2016-04-25 15:19:14

fathertyme
Inebriated
From: Second star to the right
Registered: 2009-02-18
Posts: 65

Re: You might be a computer geek if...

I always found that if I had to run the same sequence of code more than twice, it was worth throwing it out into an object just to streamline and shorten the code a little bit... old programming practice from back when size did matter 3dtongue

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#6 2016-04-25 16:56:35

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 3652
Website

Re: You might be a computer geek if...

Creating an object for a "sequence of code" is overkill and wasteful of memory.  What you wanted was a simple function.  And yes, generally speaking, any piece of code more than 2 lines long that I have to run more than two or three times, I convert to a function as well.  And that's the point:  In PHP, you can serve all the usefulness of objects with an array for data, and a set of functions.  Because PHP code runs only long enough to create a webpage, the usefulness of OOP is minimized to the point of near uselessness.  I guess it serves for those people coming from OOP languages to more easily code in PHP.  Beyond that, I haven't seen the need for it.  Since you cannot easily carry those objects over into the next page creation, which would be the real power of OOP, it just doesn't add much to the language.

I do find it humorous that the term used to mean "non-OOP code" these days is "procedural".  ALL PHP code is procedural, because the only alternative to procedural is event-driven, and PHP is not an event-driven language.

As to the male() and female() object classes, all I can tell you is that the male() class takes up about 20KB to define.  The female() class takes 3GB.
3dwink

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
I thought a thought.  But the thought I thought I thought, was not the thought I thought, I thought.  If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought... I wouldn't have thought so much!

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#7 2016-04-25 20:40:59

fathertyme
Inebriated
From: Second star to the right
Registered: 2009-02-18
Posts: 65

Re: You might be a computer geek if...

Eric Storm wrote:

The female() class takes 3GB

and yet still returns an invalid or undetermined value more often than not...

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#8 2016-04-25 21:31:34

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 3652
Website

Re: You might be a computer geek if...

Only if you attempt to process it through the male() object.  If you process it through another female() object, you'll get a result about 85% of the time.  The other 15% of the time, you just get back  "EXCEPTION ENCOUNTERED: female->otherFemaleIsBitch(): memory overflow".

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
I thought a thought.  But the thought I thought I thought, was not the thought I thought, I thought.  If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought... I wouldn't have thought so much!

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#9 2017-09-26 13:01:41

Blackie
Inebriated
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 19

Re: You might be a computer geek if...

the isAroused() function will have to contain check for hasInterest($David), hasHeadache(), acceptLocation() and isConsenting(). 3dtongue


-Himself

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#10 2017-09-27 07:10:20

Sniper
Inebriated
Registered: 2016-07-04
Posts: 75

Re: You might be a computer geek if...

Don't we need a

if ($Olissa->beengoodslave() == false)
$David->dospanking($Olissa, "ass")

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#11 2017-09-28 07:29:58

fathertyme
Inebriated
From: Second star to the right
Registered: 2009-02-18
Posts: 65

Re: You might be a computer geek if...

as an aside. I geeked out a bit today when I saw a barcode that ended in 8088 3dtongue

I started remembering my old computer processors

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