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#1 2015-10-12 23:07:02

Bridget
God
From: The Internet
Registered: 2006-09-09
Posts: 554
Website

Book of John, The

Book of John, The

This a story I started a few years back about a teen and his family. It is kind of long and I never finished it. If you want to have a go at finishing the story send me your ideas (karax2525@yahoo.com) if I see one I like I'll post it as the second and Final part.

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#2 2015-10-28 07:14:31

DreamLvr_ca
Tipsy
Registered: 2015-10-22
Posts: 4

Re: Book of John, The

Keep it going Please. I enjoyed the layout and can even see ahead a bit.

(posted from Part One)

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#3 2018-07-13 21:20:12

advancewar
Wasted
From: New hampshire
Registered: 2007-02-05
Posts: 200

Re: Book of John, The

Loved it. Wish there was more 3dsmile

(posted from Part One)


life=books

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#4 2020-08-31 09:50:00

kojak1818
Inebriated
Registered: 2020-08-05
Posts: 17

Re: Book of John, The

Regarding John's sexual encounter with Mary.
Before you write about sex, learn some anatomy!
A man's penis cannot open or penetrate a woman's cervix!
To suggest this happening is stupid!

(posted from Part One)

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#5 2020-08-31 12:36:39

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 4891
Website

Re: Book of John, The

To write a critique without reading the critiquing guide is also stupid.  Especially if you happen to not know what you're talking about.

First off, your post failed as a critique.  Why?  You didn't state a single thing you liked about the story.  If you cannot do this, you should not post anything.  This is stated very clearly in the critiquing guide.

Now, as to your complaint:  Perhaps you should have done a tad bit more searching of the internet before opening your mouth.  There are plenty of people online (WOMEN) who have reported having their cervix penetrated by their partners, both with fingers and penises, and finding it enjoyable.  The cervix... or, more critically, the "external os", is a sphincter, designed to stretch.  While it is normally, yes, far too small to insert a penis into, that is not always the case.

Further, I'd like to point out that the character in the story did not actually penetrate the cervix, he "opened" it sufficiently wide to ejaculate into it.  That's... not a very big opening needed.  The cervix can easy accommodate something the size of a thumb; I'm pretty sure opening it far enough for cum to blast through would be easily achievable.

So... perhaps you should take your own advice:  Learn some anatomy - some PRACTICAL anatomy, not the stuff in books - before you call someone out on it.

Now, to shut off this anatomical argument before it gets started, I'm going to tell you this:  Even if you were right, you would be wrong.  Why?  Because this is a standard erotica trope, used by all sorts of erotica authors.  Erotica is fantasy: it is not designed - nor in most cases, desired to be - 100% anatomically accurate.  Your average erotica reader, for instance, doesn't give a shit that probably 3/4 of all stories mentioning the hymen (including some of my older ones, before I knew better), put the damned thing in the wrong place.  And, when told that it is, most people would probably respond, "So what?"

If we're to insist on anatomical accuracy, we need to remove multiple orgasms and 2-hour-long fuck sessions from our stories, too, as these sorts of things are "extremely unlikely" as well, for the common person.  We're not going to, because that's what people want to read, and the point of publishing a story is to give people something that they want to read.

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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