My Daughter's BFF

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The entire thread can be found here
2019-Jan-14 @ 5:34 AM
Bridget
God
Member since 2006-Sep-9
Posts: 520

My Daughter's BFF

When Michael's daughter's BFF starts to flirt he is shocked by his reaction.  It leads him down a path he never thought he would travel.


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Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide.
2019-Jan-20 @ 12:46 AM
James Marcus
Contributor
Member since 2010-Jun-15
Posts: 118

You might want to look at your chapters, the site mistranslated you tabs and , " and they all appear as �

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2019-Jan-20 @ 1:27 AM
James Marcus
Contributor
Member since 2010-Jun-15
Posts: 118

Other than the � and a bit of mild editing for grammar and sentence structure, being needed, a very hot story, and I look forward to future chapters.

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2019-Jan-20 @ 3:20 AM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 4363

1. As I have said before, issues with formatting like this should NOT be brought to the author.  They should be brought to me.  If needed, I will bother the author.

2. It appears from a quick look that you also mis-diagnosed the problem.  The errant character is neither a tab nor a... whatever it was you were trying to indicate with your second indicator  (Sorry, I couldn't figure out what , " was supposed to mean.)  The problem is with what are referred to as non-breaking spaces, and Microsoft's insane execution of them.

3. Since the issue is already being addressed publicly, this part is directed to MDH1969:  A look at the source code tells me that, when you converted your file from an MS-Word doc, you chose the "Web Page" option.  What you needed was the "Web Page (Filtered)" option... or whatever they've decided to call this now.  In essence, Word has two versions of HTML files: those that are intended to be edited by Word in the future, and those that are not.  You want the version that is NOT intended to be edited again.  Why?  For one, it reduces the file size by up to 50%.  For another, Word puts a lot of Word-specific crap in the HTML file that's designed to be edited again.  That not only adds to file size, but it can cause errors in browsers that cannot read all the Word-specific crap.  If, after looking at the list of file formats available, you cannot figure out which one I'm talking about, contact me by email, and we'll figure it out together.  (I no longer use MS Word, so I can't just go look and see what the file format is called, sorry.)

Eric Storm


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Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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Please don't be an asshole to me, because then I'll have to be an asshole to you... and I'm MUCH better at being an asshole than you are.
2019-Jan-22 @ 4:07 AM
MDH1969
Contributor
Member since 2019-Jan-9
Posts: 23

Ok, it looks like I'm having to use plain text as even using web page filtered didn't work.

Also, if people can give assistance with things like grammar etc it would be appreciated.  I'm not exactly sure with grammar, even using a grammar checker I don't understand some of the things.  My big flaw as a writer and I know it.


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2019-Jan-22 @ 2:34 PM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 4363

Plain text should NOT be necessary.  Please send me through email a copy of your original Word file... and a copy of one converted to Web (Filtered).  (Yes, I know, it seems like I should already have this, as it's what you uploaded... but what you uploaded has been processed by the site, and I want an untouched version to work from.)

Eric Storm


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Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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Please don't be an asshole to me, because then I'll have to be an asshole to you... and I'm MUCH better at being an asshole than you are.
2019-Jan-29 @ 6:17 PM
MDH1969
Contributor
Member since 2019-Jan-9
Posts: 23

Chapter four is up.  Not sure if I'm making the main character be too rough with Jade.  Especially with the face fucking.  The part about him thinking of forcing her into being sick around him.  Is that too much?


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2019-Jan-31 @ 11:07 AM
James Marcus
Contributor
Member since 2010-Jun-15
Posts: 118

Very fucking hot story, only thing that  would make it hotter would be if Jade helped him seduce Rachel.

(posted from Chapter 4)


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2019-Feb-1 @ 8:21 PM
James Marcus
Contributor
Member since 2010-Jun-15
Posts: 118

I re-read the story keeping your question in mind. No I don't think the story is too much, they both want it, and even when he is fucking her hard, he is still thinking about her. Personally, and only because you asked, I do feel that making her puke while fucking her throat is a bit much, especially since there are positions you can use to fuck a girls throat that puts less strain on her and reducing the need to gag. have jade lay on her back with her neck on the edge of the bed, then Michael could fuck her throat like a pussy and not put so much strain on her.

(posted from Chapter 4)


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2019-Feb-2 @ 3:37 AM
MDH1969
Contributor
Member since 2019-Jan-9
Posts: 23

Ok, does anyone else who's read this agree with James that Jade should help Michael seduce his daughter or not?


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2019-Feb-2 @ 10:03 PM
James Marcus
Contributor
Member since 2010-Jun-15
Posts: 118

Nice up date, love the story s far.

(posted from Chapter 5)


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2019-Feb-3 @ 7:56 PM
MDH1969
Contributor
Member since 2019-Jan-9
Posts: 23

Chapter six is up.  Along with a nice little cliffhanger ending, hope you like.


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2019-Feb-4 @ 5:02 AM
James Marcus
Contributor
Member since 2010-Jun-15
Posts: 118

Love it...

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2019-Feb-7 @ 7:53 PM
James Marcus
Contributor
Member since 2010-Jun-15
Posts: 118

Loved the updates please keep them coming.

(posted from Chapter 8)


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2019-Feb-16 @ 6:36 PM
MDH1969
Contributor
Member since 2019-Jan-9
Posts: 23

Just put the last two chapters of the story on the site, hope you all enjoy them.


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