The Pub Discussion Board

Thank you for your complaments, I have someone working on edditing it, I realised after I posted that a lot was missed the first time. I am almost done with Chapter two and once that comes back from the edditor, then I will be posting it.

another very nice installment,  some parts of this seemed stilted, which was, I think, because of sentience structure in those areas.  The story continues to draw me, and I am wondering what will happen to the characters now.  Well done.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Last edited by Bd.Carlo (2010-10-07 04:24:58)

Lucky869 wrote:

definitely eager to read more on this story : )

(posted from Chapter 2)

Chapter three is with the editor and will be posted as soon as I get it back and review the sugested corrections.

Telgar

This story is still getting better, so far you have avoided all of the usual major pit falls that people writing "man finds giant alien space ship" stories fall into.  So, good job and I look forward to the next chapter.

(posted from Chapter 5)

Just Read the first 5 chapters, Love it. Look forward to the rest of the story.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

great read thus far, can't wait for more : )

(posted from Chapter 5)

I think that the major pit falls in "man finds giant alien ship" stories, are 1. giving the protagonist to much power to fast, and you have done a good job easing him into it.  2. making the protagonist suddenly "all knowing," not literally, but just in the blink of any eye the protagonist is a seasoned commander, who know exactly what every one else is going to do, makes things boring.  3. making the protagonist all powerful, he/she/it has all of this amazing alien power, and everything works or just needs some fixing which take a week or maybe two, and then he/she/it thinks of some new way to combat the the enemy that the previous  owners of the ship never thought of in the hundreds of years they fought with the enemy, and he/she/it defeats them in a matter of months or even days in some stories,  Look at the tv show Stargate Atlantis for a good example of this type of story, the protagonists find huge alien flying city, it even comes with an ancient enemy and they still have problems.  one of the things being they never have enough power, so they are always looking for power sources.  That is my opinion on the pitfalls of this type of story, some people may have different opinions, but that is mine.

just to clarify I'm not saying that that the protagonist can't can't come up with some new way to combat the enemy, if he/she/it didn't they would most likely loose the same way the previous owners did, it just can't be some thing that lets them win in a matter of months or days.  Again, just my opinion.

Exactly.

great story cant wait for more

(posted from Conscripts and Recruits)

Spent a pleasant evening reading the complete story so far. It reached out and grabbed me early on and continued to hold me to the end. Would like to see more very soon!

What?

Your not done yet?

Please, next chapter!

I have always liked Science Fiction stories and well written ones are hard to find sometimes. I just finished chapter 3 and I have to say I am loving this story. It is well written and keeps me wanting to read more. GREAT JOB and GREAT STORY!

(posted from the Item Information Page)