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#1 2009-10-30 03:08:37

Corvis
Inebriated
Registered: 2006-11-28
Posts: 87

A thousand curses on chain letters

I loathe chain letters, especially the email kind.  At least with posted chain letters, it would take a little time and expense to bombard everyone one knows with stupid letters extolling them to generate even more worthless chain mail and threatening dire consequences if one "broke the chain".  Now, it just takes a few thoughtless clicks of a mouse to flood the internet with this electronic Rubbish. 

Even as a youth, I could see the glaring holes of logic in chain letters.  For example, if the letter is a precise copy of the letter as it originally appeared, why is most of the letter's body taken up with stories of what happened to the people the letter was then mailed to? 

Thanks to their longer reach on the internet, chain letter hoaxes have become a dangerous nuisance.  As such, I have composed an anti-chain letter rant.  I intend to reply to all future chain mail with this rant, and I will reproduce it below for use by anyone else who may desire a way to discourage people from sending further chain letters


CHAIN LETTERS ARE DANGEROUS!!!!!

Chain letters are a horrible plot!!!  Every chain letter hoax that encourages people to contact emergency services, erase their hard drives, start a campaign to outlaw Dihydrogen Monoxide (DMO), or to otherwise spread fear and panic waste time, cause anxiety, and best of all, cause emergency services to spend time explaining that it's all a hoax to thousands and thousands of gullible fools instead of dealing with trivial matters like helping people in genuine mortal peril are dangerous.  Ever get put on hold when you called 911?  If so, try to remember that the operator is probably dealing with a concerned moron responding to one of those "critical" chain letters you forwarded without bothering to at least verify with Snopes.

By the way, if the chain letter claims THIS WAS VERIFIED ON SNOPES!!!! that does not guarantee that it was in fact already verified, no matter how big and bold the letters are.  Also, multiple exclamation points do not prove it's the truth.  I could write "I am John Carter, Warlord of Mars!!!!!" and all those exclamation points do not make the statement less absurd.   Verify yourself before you send twenty copies of a chain letter to each of your contacts.

Unlike the countless stupid chain letters I've received over the years, this really is a serious matter.  If the chance of wasting the money resources and time of others is insufficient to deter you from blindly spamming chain letters like some sort of mindless photocopier, if the image of emergency lines tied up by inquires about hoax chain letters while children die in a burning house because their neighbor couldn't get taken off of hold in time doesn't move you to taking a little time and using a little caution, then allow me to appeal to you on the only level you seem to understand.

If you send or forward a chain mail hoax, the Franklin Curse will be upon you!  Like Benjamin Franklin, who perpetrated hoaxes in his youth, you will be cursed to be denounced, as Franklin was denounced by his own beloved government, and like Franklin, you will be doomed to have your own loved ones turn on you, as his son turned on him!

This curse is real!!  It has been verified on Snopes!!!

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#2 2009-10-30 07:31:39

lordalpha
Wasted
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2007-01-26
Posts: 139

Re: A thousand curses on chain letters

Quite a powerful rant there! I would use it myself, but thankfully the last chain letter I got was from my great aunt a few years ago(2 days before the family reunion.)

Another way to deal with chain letters, supposing they are done by people you know, instead of random email strangers(blocklist is great to stop that) is to take the approach I took with my Great aunt pat. I printed out the note(which was the Dihydrogen monoxide scam) and then to go to our family reunion. Thankfully that year we had record attendance, with over 900 people showing up. We had a small auditorium that we were able to use, and each cousin was expected to do some small performance, similar to a cabaret or variety show. Each of us has a small amount of time, and thankfully my 2 cousins after me allowed me to take their time slots. I walked onto stage, read the email, then explained how HORRIBLE that we all allowed Dihydrogen Monoxide into our bodies, that many of them had it in hand, that many of them were drinking it in their cups right this moment. It is the sole contributor to erosion and floods yada yadda yadda. I think only a few out of the 900 got the joke by the time I was done. I then went on to tell them that this letter was sent to be by my dear great aunt Pat, who lovingly sent this out to almost the entire family. I was soo glad that she sent this out, so that we could all raise awareness about the horrible things that water does to all of us. At that point about half of them realized what was going on, and the other half were totally dumbfounded. I went on to explain that yes, dihydrogen monoxide was water, H2O. Pure and simple. That our dear aunt Pat, who we all love soo dear had spent time and effort to add every person there to an email list to tell us that we should ban water. She had not taken the time to THINK about what she wrote, or what she was saying. I embarrassed her in front of most of her extended family. While I have no problems with Pat, and she and I are still on great terms to this day, the rest of my small speech was to go on, and explain that snopes.com is the place to go to find out about this crap, and not to trust the email if it says verified by snopes. I took up about 30 minutes total, and by the end of it got a standing applause. Not really effective in every situation, but the general principal does work wonders.
If you have an over concerned person in your life, who constantly sends out these warnings and chain letters, talk to them. A smarmy email, while it is very satisfying, most of the time will just end up being deleted, and discarded. The best you can hope for there is that the person stops, but more often then not, they will just take you out of their mailing list.

Be kind, Family doesn't let family send chain letters.

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#3 2009-10-30 20:55:15

LAoW
Completely Blotto
Registered: 2006-12-01
Posts: 450

Re: A thousand curses on chain letters

You know what else I hate, other than chain letters? Those "love" chain letters saying "if you're my friend" or "if you love me you will send this to ten other people and send this back to me in 15 minutes or something bad will happen to you" or etc. etc... I HATE THOSE! I never send them and I just delete them. I always get them on my phone and from one person in particular. Actually, I haven't gotten them from her in a while. I think she's gotten the message. misch_smiley


I don't have to worry about revenge because Karma is a bigger bitch than I will ever have to be.

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#4 2009-10-30 21:02:54

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5753
Website

Re: A thousand curses on chain letters

Hey, if they're not sending the crap to ME, then MY problem is solved, now isn't it?

There are two types of people who send out chain letters:  The ignorant, and the stupid.  Ignorant people don't know how to verify the information, and are passing it along because they're really concerned about the problem.  These people can be cured with a polite letter informing them of the ways to check the information.

Stupid people don't have any desire to verify the information.  They take every panic-letter as gospel, and immediately, without any thought whatsoever, forward it to everyone they know.  No letter, skit, or rant will stop these people from doing what they do.

In short:  Ignorance is curable, but stupidity is a terminal illness.  The BEST you can hope for with a stupid person is to get them to stop mailing YOU.  If everyone on their list got them to stop mailing that person... then the problem would be solved.

Unfortunately, stupid people tend to have a lot of stupid friends, thus........

Eric


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
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#5 2009-11-01 05:03:53

Neitherspace
Completely Blotto
From: Silver City
Registered: 2006-12-03
Posts: 575

Re: A thousand curses on chain letters

you forgot the third group eric the guys who start them in the first place cause they think it's funny

admittedly i thought the DMO one was pretty funny when i read bout it reminded me of a joke from HS: What do you do if you see 2 thespians masticating in the park?


"I figure that if you can't write decent dialogue for the devil, maybe you shouldn't be a writer."-Richard Kadrey

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#6 2009-11-01 22:18:16

LAoW
Completely Blotto
Registered: 2006-12-01
Posts: 450

Re: A thousand curses on chain letters

Or the one while learning Science in class at school. The teacher told us to all run home and tell our parents, "Your epidermis is showing!" (Back then, we were just learning the word. It was funny!)


I don't have to worry about revenge because Karma is a bigger bitch than I will ever have to be.

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