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Very well done! This is the first story I have added to my favorites that is not X rated To be more constructive than supportive however, I will say there are a few places that could be fixed, " as i Told you" should probably be " as *I* told you" and things like that which an editor may be able to catch for you. Of course, it is seemingly impossible to catch all those mistakes even if you have a team of editors Just in my own comment I had about five of them
(posted from The Welcoming Party)
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I just started the story and can see that this will be an interesting and shows great promise. I do have one concern regarding the spelling and grammar errors. Please try and correct your mistakes as it does take away from the flow of the story.
(posted from the Item Information Page)
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Doc:
You offering to edit for him?
Eric Storm
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Eric:
Sorry...too old, too tired
(posted from the Item Information Page)
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A great start to a story, I look forward to the continuing episodes.
(posted from A Queen in Shining Armor)
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