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#1 2009-10-14 03:05:44

Bridget
God
From: The Internet
Registered: 2006-09-09
Posts: 541
Website

[Brent] Potions

[Brent] Potions

Short stories about a man named Smith and the people he sells mind control potions to.

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#2 2010-06-27 22:31:55

James Marcus
Wasted
From: USA
Registered: 2010-06-14
Posts: 118

Re: [Brent] Potions

Interesting Concept. The dialog was good and the interactions were nice. The only sugestion I can give would be to include more descrition on what is going on around the characters.

(posted from Second Chance)

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#3 2010-07-05 06:42:50

Eternaldreams
Tipsy
Registered: 2009-02-27
Posts: 2

Re: [Brent] Potions

This set isn't bad.  I see some progression in plot twists through the chapters as well as some growth and an ability to change the story as needed.  Nice work.

(posted from Sexual Harrasment 2)


The Master is an artist , His slave the clay, with the whip He will shape her , with humility He will mold her, Some will admire her, But only the Master, not even the slave, will know her true beauty, for her true beauty lies in her lover for her Master.

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#4 2010-07-05 22:27:22

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 4860
Website

Re: [Brent] Potions

Eternaldreams:

I appreciate that you are giving feedback to our prospective authors.  Were you one of the two (yes, only TWO) people who also used the recommendation system for this story?

I'd like to remind everyone that the recommendation system is the "voting mechanism" used to determine whether we ask this author to stay permanently or not...

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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