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#1 2009-11-09 21:01:43

Bridget
God
From: The Internet
Registered: 2006-09-09
Posts: 554
Website

[Saetan] Justice

[Saetan] Justice

a simple open-and-shut trial, and then everything goes awry *though a rape is committed, no details are given, hence the conflict between rating and codes/pairings*

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#2 2009-11-14 00:41:37

SlaveMaster
Wasted
From: London, Ontario, Canada
Registered: 2006-12-05
Posts: 106

Re: [Saetan] Justice

This story was ok for a short story however more content on the story would have been better as well as some hints towards what kinda person this Justice guy was.  In the story the crown stated ""I object" called out the D.A., shivering involuntarily as Justice turned to look at her. "How do we know that this whole thing wasn't taped after-the fact, since there's no real proof that this 'video' was taken on that date?"" with the response of the defense "You'll have proof that this is how events happened, if you'll keep watching" I did not see where this problem was solved.  Also I found that the court proceedings were iffy if you were trying to have the tribunal accurate with the obvious exception of the events caused by Justice.   Overall I did rather enjoy the read it was well organized and is a hundred fold better then anything that I could accomplish for a fictional story.

(posted from Chapter 1)


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#3 2009-11-14 01:28:54

Storymaster69
Completely Blotto
From: Alberta, Canada
Registered: 2006-11-07
Posts: 329

Re: [Saetan] Justice

SlaveMaster wrote:

"You'll have proof that this is how events happened, if you'll keep watching" I did not see where this problem was solved.

I think his attempt at solving this was the video showing the father doing what he did.  If that video was possible then by default the rest of the video was possible too.


Sex isn't the answer.
Sex is the question.
Yes is the answer.

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#4 2009-11-16 01:22:06

SlaveMaster
Wasted
From: London, Ontario, Canada
Registered: 2006-12-05
Posts: 106

Re: [Saetan] Justice

yes but there was still a discrepancy on the continuity of the video.

Last edited by SlaveMaster (2009-11-16 01:23:35)


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