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#1 2009-01-20 08:36:15

Bridget
God
From: The Internet
Registered: 2006-09-09
Posts: 554
Website

[megamaster87] song, The

[megamaster87] song, The

My first Published Poem

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#2 2009-01-23 21:03:49

Timotheos
Inebriated
Registered: 2008-12-22
Posts: 15

Re: [megamaster87] song, The

I found this for the most part good. You slipped out of prose for the last two verses though, that is the only big thing to jump out at me.

As a whole though, I found it to be fairly good, keep up the work.

~Tim

(posted from Chapter 1)

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#3 2009-01-25 04:02:27

megamaster87
Tipsy
Registered: 2008-01-30
Posts: 6

Re: [megamaster87] song, The

I actually wrote it while standing around at work...I am starting a new Job soon, which will keep me away from home often, and have been trying to decide whether or not to ask out a girl I have had feelings for since we worked together...

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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