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#1 2007-10-05 01:26:36

Bridget
Barmaid
From: The Internet
Registered: 2006-09-09
Posts: 769
Website

Secret of Gyre Island, The

The Secret of Gyre Island

A group of high school students must solve a dark mystery on an island where they live. 


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#2 2007-10-06 02:37:02

Black Rose
Evil Bar Wench
From: The Edge of Nowhere
Registered: 2006-11-26
Posts: 164

Re: Secret of Gyre Island, The

This is very intriguing so far.  I like the diary format as an opener... and now I need to move on to the next chapter to see how this diary was discovered and translated, I think/hope.  The editing and grammar was very good.  I don't read much online anymore, but I have enjoyed this story so far and I hope you continue it and that this message leaves you much encouraged.  More people should be reading this and giving an opinion.  So says me, and I'm the bar wench... I should know.

(posted from Prologue)


Black Rose

"Being a writer is a very peculiar sort of a job: it's always you versus a blank sheet of paper (or a blank screen) and quite often the blank piece of paper wins." – Neil Gaiman

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#3 2007-10-07 01:32:06

triton
Inebriated
Registered: 2006-12-08
Posts: 25

Re: Secret of Gyre Island, The

thank you Black Rose.  Corvis and Mandorin helped me alot.  Corvis did the editing.  I owe them both a lot for all their help.

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#4 2007-10-08 01:12:06

Corvis
Inebriated
Registered: 2006-11-28
Posts: 87

Re: Secret of Gyre Island, The

Thank you, Triton.  You give me too much credit and too little to yourself.

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#5 2007-10-26 14:11:30

TheNStorm
Inebriated
Registered: 2006-12-22
Posts: 78

Re: Secret of Gyre Island, The

Nice so far. I like the style of dialogue, and the discriptions. You may wish to at some point consider adding a tiny bit more discription about the beast here, just to further invest your readers. While I'm drawn in to read the next chapter I could be completely addicted.

Good job so far,

The N Storm

(posted from Prologue)


Forever life confuses me

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#6 2007-10-31 00:24:34

triton
Inebriated
Registered: 2006-12-08
Posts: 25

Re: Secret of Gyre Island, The

I'm glad that you liked the prologue of my story.  I hope that you like the next 2 chapters too, but I might need to do some work on them to make them better.

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