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#26 2017-06-02 00:16:24

Wicked Storm
Completely Blotto
From: New Orleans
Registered: 2012-06-15
Posts: 355

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

It is inside a very large hangar bay of a ship, so i was trying not to use starboard and port inside the hanger and more a sense of direction, but i will go through it re-read that section to see if using the nautical terms feels better.


In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly.

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#27 2017-06-02 02:31:31

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 4043
Website

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

Choose for yourself, but all I can say is that, generally speaking, terminology would not change just because the space is large.  The hangar deck of an aircraft carrier is nearly as big as the flight deck... yet they still use the same terminology.

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
AMEN! >>> Word Crimes

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#28 2017-06-02 03:04:10

Crusader
Wasted
From: Madison, WI
Registered: 2007-07-19
Posts: 136

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

Wicked Storm wrote:

It is inside a very large hangar bay of a ship, so i was trying not to use starboard and port inside the hanger and more a sense of direction, but i will go through it re-read that section to see if using the nautical terms feels better.

Given the small amount of distance in the paragraph anyhow, you could go with 15 meters that way, then again this is the ship AI speaking, so you do you, if you leave it as is, I'll get to giggle again when I read it on my second and then third time.

Eric Storm wrote:

"Ten-Forward"  (Tenth deck, Forward compartment)

How did I never realized that, I just thought it was the name of Guinan's bar, I do remember thinking it was a weird name, but didn't question it.

Eric Storm wrote:

And when I mentioned "if it was a ship", I wasn't thinking about another planet, but instead a space station, where there would be no clear "front" or "back", and the directions would have to be entirely arbitrary.

The ISS uses forward, aft, port, starboard, deck and overhead, because like you said you need something defined.

Eric Storm wrote:

PS:  "starboard" originated from words meaning "the steering side": before centerline rudders, the steering mechanism was positioned over the right side of the ship.  As such, it is logical that the ship would have to put into "port" with its left side to the dock.  Yes, I know you don't care.  I don't care that you don't care, I told you anyway, so there!

Ha I had looked that one up when I realized starport wasn't a thing. Totally cared. 3dtongue

Eric Storm wrote:

PPS:  Originally, "port" was called the "larboard" side, deriving from 'ladeborde', which I can only guess (since the dictionary didn't say), meant 'the loading side'.  However, larboard and starboard sound too much alike, and in an emergency, you don't want shouted orders misinterpreted, so 'larboard' was changed to 'port'.

And yes, I know you didn't care about this, either.  TOUGH!

Ok you got me there.

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#29 2017-06-11 15:49:59

Wicked Storm
Completely Blotto
From: New Orleans
Registered: 2012-06-15
Posts: 355

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone, I will be hunting down that line and be changing it. Thanks for the positive suggestions. ^_^


In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly.

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#30 2017-06-24 18:54:47

Wicked Storm
Completely Blotto
From: New Orleans
Registered: 2012-06-15
Posts: 355

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

And a new chapter is up! ^_^


In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly.

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#31 2017-06-28 06:42:55

Maverick7508
Inebriated
Registered: 2012-02-04
Posts: 22

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

If I remember correctly, when denoting a distance and direction in ST, didn't they use bearings in degrees?

Also, I was wondering as a fellow star trek fan, what made you go with the Enterprise series canon for the story basis? I ask purely out of curiosity and with no intent to offend.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#32 2017-06-29 14:31:16

Fenixreign
Completely Blotto
Registered: 2014-08-02
Posts: 255

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

As I haven't read the story yet, I cannot reference what Wicked said, but I can confirm Maverick that direction was given using a 3 dimensional degree based reference.  Example:  327 mark 89.  This is the bearing on both the x- and z- axes allowing you plot location (if you have the distance, though they measured that within a star system in km and outside a star system in LY normally) or to traverse 3 dimensional space if instead a speed is dictated.

The other thing they used were points of reference.  Example: Plot course for Starbase 32, warp factor 3.  This example includes the speed that the captain or OOD wanted to travel as well, but since the computer had the location mapped in it's data storage, creating a flight path was easy.  And of course, using a point of reference for location is simple as well.  Example: The ship is in low-orbit around thee 3rd planet.

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#33 2017-06-29 22:23:42

Wicked Storm
Completely Blotto
From: New Orleans
Registered: 2012-06-15
Posts: 355

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

It was a two dimensional traversing, i was just trying to give sense of scale using a map in my mind. LOL. You say I am using Enterprise as series cannon, when I am actually using the Combination of TNG/Voyager/DS9 with Reference to Star Trek online. If you are referring to Ceyren being an Orion, well the there is a lack of information on Orion's as a whole in cannon.  But as off the current time period, Orions are still part of the Klingon Empire, if they aren't part of the Orion Syndicate. Which even though hails back to the Enterprise timeline, doesn't assume. Though there is defiantly some reference points there. As you aren't aware at this time, the characters will have lots of dealings all over the place.

I promise you the Spartan http://pre14.deviantart.net/09ce/th/pre/i/2014/286/2/3/torquemada_final_version_by_tomxaros-d4x5au1.png is very much not a enterprise Era ship.


In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly.

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#34 2017-06-30 23:14:59

Maverick7508
Inebriated
Registered: 2012-02-04
Posts: 22

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

Apologies for any confusion my question may have caused, I meant that the Orion females being more than slaves used for profit, entertainment, reproduction, etc. was and Enterprise canon idea. In the original canon for the Orion, the Orion were a patriarchal society that had altered the females in their species, much like the Kzinti, to be less intelligent. Also, the half of the Orion who did not become the Orion Pirates joined the Federation, though they refused to aid in apprehending the Orion Pirates.

Also, under older canon, the Klingon Empire was highly xenophobic, and while they would put non-klingons into military service, they rarely commanded vessels, and could only command vessels of their species. An example of this would be the Human and Romulan fusions(lab breed genetic crossings of klingons with other species).

My question in regards to the Enterprise canon also came up because of the Enterprise-J, but if your using star trek online that makes sense. Again, this is simply out of personal interest, and not to derogate or deride. I feel that using the canon and timeline you are, you have assembled a well rounded work with great potential.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#35 2017-07-05 19:51:40

Wicked Storm
Completely Blotto
From: New Orleans
Registered: 2012-06-15
Posts: 355

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

Thank you, Orions have many different contexts because they have always been kind of a secondary character race in the universe. Used as Eye candy. So I did some serious research, and went with what had the most information. Enterprise, though we sadly don't all agree is actually considered canon in the current universe setting. Otherwise known as the Prime timeline.

Ironically, Enterprise and Star Trek online, follow a pretty identical time line for this, and though I respect TOS, there plots were far less coherent, than TNG-DS9-Voyager. So as this is fan fiction to begin with, I am using a great amount of what is cannon, but I love making things my own.

The enterprise J isn't currently active in my story as it is part of the Temporal fleet. It is cannon in star trek online as well, ironically, I haven't got my hands on a universe class ship yet, but maybe Ceyren will sometime in the future. I love talking about this with my readers, and i am listening to all of their input.


In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly.

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#36 2017-07-05 23:29:45

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 4043
Website

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

Don't wish to sidetrack the conversation, but I've seen this particular thing in so many places of late...

When speaking about what is "standard for the universe", the spelling is canon.  The other one is what you blow ships out of the water with.

Okay, back to the discussing.  3dsmile

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
AMEN! >>> Word Crimes

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#37 2017-07-07 07:26:08

Wicked Storm
Completely Blotto
From: New Orleans
Registered: 2012-06-15
Posts: 355

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

I know Eric, that is a an intentional spelling error. I like to think of it as cannon blowing ideas out of the water, to remember not to step all over the canon. lol. But on a serious note, this story is meant to be it's own universe inside of the Star Trek Universe. So when at all possible it is going to canon, but I can already promise you the valkyrie suits or did I call them Arch Angel suits, lol, going to have to go read back my earlier chapters, for there names, but needless to say, they are about as none star trek Canon as you can get. I am adding to the universe, because I feel sometimes the writers, are hindered by a set of rules, that were meant more as guidelines for the universe, than hard fast rules.

Roddenbury was and will always been the heart and soul of the orignal star trek, but the concept, ceased being is soul creative properties a long, long time ago. Just look at the JJ verse, its good in its own right, as long as you don't measure it against Roddenbury's Rules. Or are a Die hard.

Star Trek Online, breaks Roddenbury's idea's constantly ship design, missions that starfleet takes part of, countless reference, but i don't need to debate that. But the point is, is its meant to be sci fi, and it's meant to the push the limits, not just on the technological level, but on the idea's that we have surrounding culture, gender, wars, physics, and so much more. It's why Ceyren is an Engineer first, and a soldier second, but don't mistake her, she isn't starfleet at heart, she is a warrior, having a rich back story from her time as a member of the Klingon on defense force.

I don't know if I am still have it posted anywhere lol, but I was doing a series of written exercises with her in mind, where it would ask her question and and she would have to answer what she would do in that situation. Because I want her to be a rich character, that we like to read. Especially as this story is meant to be serial in design, why each chapter is a stardate, and not a title. It's meant to be read like these are her star logs of her missions. From start to what ever finish she gets to. Episodic. I think I have rambled on to long haha.


In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly.

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#38 2017-07-07 18:03:14

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 4043
Website

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

3dsmile

Wasn't trying to make any comment at all about your story ideas.  I haven't read them, to be honest (My trekkie days are in my past, I'm afraid).  It was just the spelling that got me.  Yeah, I've got kind of a thing about spelling, grammar, punctuation... 

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
AMEN! >>> Word Crimes

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#39 2017-07-07 20:13:43

Wicked Storm
Completely Blotto
From: New Orleans
Registered: 2012-06-15
Posts: 355

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

Oh, yes Eric I was aware, so of that response was talking to other people. But yeah I understand completely. I am trying personally to get better at it. But only practice makes perfect.


In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly.

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#40 2017-08-14 04:44:33

Wicked Storm
Completely Blotto
From: New Orleans
Registered: 2012-06-15
Posts: 355

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

Alright the introduction and chapter 1 have gone through an edit. Hopefully this makes them easier to read and less error prone. There is no doubt some issues still around as this is my first edit without have someone else take a look at it to catch whatever i missed in the 6 hour editing session i just finished. PM if you guys notice anything please.


In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly.

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#41 2018-01-03 03:00:38

Lacy69
Inebriated
From: Lamar, Colorado
Registered: 2016-06-20
Posts: 30

Re: Star Trek: Shadow Wars

Great story so far. Looking for more in the future. Like how you brought this about and given a character a most chalanging beginning.  Overall good work

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