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#1 2017-07-14 12:13:36

Bridget
Barmaid
From: The Internet
Registered: 2006-09-09
Posts: 769
Website

Touch of Green, A

A Touch of Green

Ben is gifted a unique influence to affect the women in his life or he encounters. He starts down the path of exploration. His interest is piqued. He clearly has his own ideas of what he wants though.


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#2 2017-07-15 00:51:04

Wicked Storm
Completely Blotto
From: New Orleans
Registered: 2012-06-15
Posts: 367

Re: Touch of Green, A

Your creative use of descriptors is very poetic, it really gives a feel for the characters admiration of the individual you start out describing at the onset of your story. You put in a good balance of normal writing and poetic. It’s a nice change to some of what I read very often.

The multiple Character point of views is a nice shift, and it’s a good way to giving us the readers a feel for what the other characters are feeling lol. Sorry for writing the word characters so many times, lol. I have enjoyed what you have written so far, and am looking forward to more of your work. The warmth and gentleness of your eroticism in the story is also very interesting.

(posted from One)


In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly.

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#3 2017-07-19 01:10:41

peace2300
Inebriated
Registered: 2011-09-12
Posts: 29

Re: Touch of Green, A

A very nice and refreshing read, I can't wait to see what you end up doing with the characters.

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#4 2017-08-03 17:49:32

Blackie
Inebriated
From: US
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 72

Re: Touch of Green, A

I'm in something like my third or fourth re-write of the second chapter. The side characters somehow seem to be drawing me away from the intended purpose, so it is not coming out smoothly and may be delayed a bit.


-Himself

"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland

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#5 2017-08-03 18:52:40

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5745
Website

Re: Touch of Green, A

Perhaps your characters are trying to tell you something.  Maybe there's a story you'd rather be telling than the one you're intending.

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#6 2017-08-03 22:49:29

Blackie
Inebriated
From: US
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 72

Re: Touch of Green, A

I think it more likely they're trying to rush the story to conclusion actually. Frustrating, ya know.


-Himself

"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland

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#7 2017-09-01 14:00:49

Zombie Wolf
Tipsy
Registered: 2016-11-14
Posts: 4

Re: Touch of Green, A

yes!! thank you. it is so hard to find good D/s that is not just s/M. keep up the good work.

(posted from Altered State)

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#8 2017-09-26 22:09:22

td219
Tipsy
Registered: 2016-05-27
Posts: 7

Re: Touch of Green, A

Very much enjoy the start of this story and where it appears to be headed. Definitely enjoy your writing style. I typically measure the success of a story by whether I would read it without the sex scenes. This is definitely a story that would stand tall using that criteria. I look forward to reading your next installments.

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#9 2017-10-02 19:37:05

Blackie
Inebriated
From: US
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 72

Re: Touch of Green, A

I really hate my spelling errors and pre-post editing flubs. In a big way. It is good to know some of you are enjoying the story. It should only have a few more chapters to completion.


-Himself

"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland

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#10 2017-10-02 20:07:12

Tuzzdeny
Inebriated
From: Florida
Registered: 2015-05-17
Posts: 13

Re: Touch of Green, A

I'm really enjoying the story.

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#11 2017-10-09 02:13:19

GornBCS
Tipsy
Registered: 2015-01-04
Posts: 6

Re: Touch of Green, A

Also am enjoying the story, so thank you for sharing it with us.

Found what I think is a mixed reference in “Millenium†. My wife and I have been going to popular operas over the last few years. Rossini did The Barber of Seville (very fun opera), then Mozart carried the characters over to The Marriage of Figaro (Le Nozze di Figaro).

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#12 2017-10-09 04:00:41

Blackie
Inebriated
From: US
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 72

Re: Touch of Green, A

GornBCS wrote:

Also am enjoying the story, so thank you for sharing it with us.

Found what I think is a mixed reference in “Millenium� . My wife and I have been going to popular operas over the last few years. Rossini did The Barber of Seville (very fun opera), then Mozart carried the characters over to The Marriage of Figaro (Le Nozze di Figaro).

it's a flub. i often screw up with music & lyrics & titles & artists & composers & even periods. mistakes R us. sorry.


-Himself

"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland

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#13 2017-10-09 09:51:37

GornBCS
Tipsy
Registered: 2015-01-04
Posts: 6

Re: Touch of Green, A

No trouble! Figaro was the main character in the Barber of Seville, so I can understand the confusion.

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#14 2017-10-13 15:58:30

Blackie
Inebriated
From: US
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 72

Re: Touch of Green, A

write. re-write. write again.

Last edited by Blackie (2017-10-19 00:17:47)


-Himself

"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland

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#15 2017-10-23 15:46:34

Tuzzdeny
Inebriated
From: Florida
Registered: 2015-05-17
Posts: 13

Re: Touch of Green, A

Seems like the quality keeps going up.  Thanks for the latest installment.

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#16 2017-10-24 13:08:54

Cheezes
Inebriated
Registered: 2015-08-16
Posts: 11

Re: Touch of Green, A

awesome... looking forward to teh next chapter. that one is gonna be really mindblowing (if not mine then at least some story characters minds)  i think 3dsmile

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#17 2017-10-24 23:49:36

howard
Inebriated
Registered: 2016-12-01
Posts: 20

Re: Touch of Green, A

Wonderful story, shame you don't want to do a sequel but I guess they often fall flat.

(posted from Denouement)

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#18 2017-10-25 00:50:33

Blackie
Inebriated
From: US
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 72

Re: Touch of Green, A

I just don't plan one. I'd have to have a reasoned plot at this point.


-Himself

"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland

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#19 2017-10-27 16:23:03

Darkside_6
Inebriated
Registered: 2016-08-10
Posts: 10

Re: Touch of Green, A

Thank you Blackie.  I really enjoyed the story.  Great balance of "story" and erotica.  Fun premise and concepts.  Well executed.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#20 2018-05-01 07:26:12

Franco
Tipsy
Registered: 2007-08-24
Posts: 4

Re: Touch of Green, A

I really enjoyed A Touch of Green. In fact, just finished a second reading. I hope you will be submitting more stories. Have you considered posting to the Erotic Mind Control Story Archive again?

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#21 2019-05-20 13:07:46

Blackie
Inebriated
From: US
Registered: 2017-07-12
Posts: 72

Re: Touch of Green, A

howard wrote:

... shame you don't want to do a sequel ...

Okay, I admit it wasn't my intent. But Ashes is in the same world as Touch was. It came along after I had tried writing a couple chapters for something else that fell flat, which led to a short story instead.


-Himself

"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland

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#22 2023-06-29 18:37:36

Dadrepus
Inebriated
Registered: 2023-01-11
Posts: 91

Re: Touch of Green, A

A delightfully complete story. Intriguing concept with sex woven into the fabric of the story without it being the main concern. It is a story with some sex in it as apposed to a sex story. I enjoyed it immensely.

(posted from Denouement)


Always willing to help. May not be good at it ;-)

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