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#1 2008-04-24 02:02:15

Bridget
Barmaid
From: The Internet
Registered: 2006-09-09
Posts: 778
Website

Triplet Troubles

Triplet Troubles

A story about a single father who cheated on his wife ten years ago and the vengeance his three young daughters took on him for his crimes against them and their mother.


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#2 2008-04-24 10:37:02

advancewar
Wasted
From: New hampshire
Registered: 2007-02-05
Posts: 204

Re: Triplet Troubles

good storie. i think i woulda tied em all down to a bed and made em wait till they starved or told me were the pics were. hes going to go to jail anyway might as well get a lil revenge before you go.

(posted from Chapter 4)


life=books

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#3 2008-04-25 01:09:10

cffcffc
Tipsy
Registered: 2007-09-24
Posts: 6

Re: Triplet Troubles

I agree w/ advancewar good story. not your best but good enough
for me to read it all

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#4 2008-04-25 01:39:29

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5751
Website

Re: Triplet Troubles

CFFCFFC:

Just a followup question to your comment, and to help out the author...

What would have made the story better, in your eyes?  "Not your best" by itself doesn't tell the author where he needs to improve...

Eric


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#5 2008-04-25 04:46:44

advancewar
Wasted
From: New hampshire
Registered: 2007-02-05
Posts: 204

Re: Triplet Troubles

honestly i think if you made him get a little bit more revenge i think it woulda been alot better. i do relize that hes supposed to ahve refrained becus of his personality but you asked for what we want not what the charecter would do lol.

(posted from the Item Information Page)


life=books

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#6 2008-10-08 03:07:22

Terminaxe
Tipsy
Registered: 2008-05-09
Posts: 9

Re: Triplet Troubles

I think when you had him depressed after the death was true to showing how he really felt about his daughters and explains why he did what he did in my opinion.

That part made me go..well sad that she would do that over a stupid unfeeling uncaring parent she had. Shame her sisters and father did not notice before hand to prevent her. It would have added like maybe a chapter to two.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#7 2008-10-09 07:38:37

advancewar
Wasted
From: New hampshire
Registered: 2007-02-05
Posts: 204

Re: Triplet Troubles

dam just looked at my last post and my spelling is worse then usual.


life=books

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#8 2009-04-16 05:41:33

Jefferson
Completely Blotto
From: East Coast, USA
Registered: 2006-12-03
Posts: 449

Re: Triplet Troubles

Summer Roadtrip, Triplet Troubles, Adam Knight and a few other stories I've written, have been removed, at my request, from this site and others. If or when they will be re-posted, has not been determined. My apologies to those interested in reading them.

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#9 2010-05-27 17:00:07

Peterran
Tipsy
Registered: 2009-05-05
Posts: 2

Re: Triplet Troubles

Good but spoilt by the sudden ending

(posted from Chapter 4)

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