The Pub Discussion Board

I think my information was lousy but i am glad to see i did better then most. Glad to hear i at least am looking in the right direction.

CainsMark24 wrote:

Bistander, I absolutely love Potential. It's one of the best written stories I've ever read and no matter what, when a new Chapter is posted I immediately read it. Keep up the great work, no matter how long it takes! Thanks.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

You are welcome and I won't let your high praise go to my head. Chapter 18 is being proofread today. Then I'll let it sit and reread it tomorrow. Finding my own errors after writing and reading the same stuff for three weeks is very difficult.

Thoroughly enjoyed the chapter.   Especially  the name drop at the end. Had been wondering if that's how she fit into the story.

Last edited by thehilz (2017-05-18 16:31:28)

Sniper wrote:

@thehilz
It was not completely unexpected.

I should hope not, I had been dropping hints throughout. Who had you thought was Gloria's daddy?

I meant to ask, do many people let their computer read this story to them? I doubt it, but when I was reading it to someone over the phone, as part of the proofreading process, I realized that my leaving as many speaker tags out as possible can make dialog unclear if you are not looking at the text. If this is a problem, I can always include more of the redundant tags.

Sniper wrote:

Gloria's dad was never really in question for me. Darlene's connection was a little bit more unclear. It was evident that you would include her into the family somehow, but there were still more than one possibility for me.

Never tried letting my computer read a story to me. The idea itself does not appeal to me. I also don't like audiobooks. Reading is something to relax, to let my mind roam. I can set my own pace, can go back and forth or take a break. Most of the time I am reading several books simultaneously, not even counting the novels here at the pub where I am waiting for updates, like Potential, WAY-7 and Shadows in the Grass. Normally I don't mix up things, but if I am unsure, I can always just reread the story.

Thanks Sniper. I was asking about the reading thing in general because somebody commented someplace that where it could have been more clear who was speaking and I thought maybe if someone was listening to it that would be the case. Otherwise, to me, it always seems clear, but of course, all of the characters are in my head and are me. That is probably why I have a psychiatrist and take medication.

I'm surprised you were so sure about who Gloria's dad was. I didn't think knowing that he fuck Candy that one time would have sealed the deal for you. Darlene, yeah, earlier she mentioned an aunt telling her about her mother and somehow that related to why she hated Evan.

BTW, I love audiobooks but that is because the learning disability I grew up with and apparently the way my brain still works, I read extremely slow. That contributes to how long it takes me to produce a chapter.

pepsiguy1 wrote:

The only problem I have is I'm suddenly at the end of the chapter. This one left you with seeing the Potential that wasn't quite realized yet.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Please read slower.
Potential, I guess that is a pretty good title after all. At one point I was thinking I should have named it Secrets. Has everyone been satisfied with the chapter titles? Sometimes they are the hardest thing I have to do before posting. Though, the last one was easy, it jumped right off the page at me.

bistander wrote:

I'm surprised you were so sure about who Gloria's dad was. I didn't think knowing that he fuck Candy that one time would have sealed the deal for you. Darlene, yeah, earlier she mentioned an aunt telling her about her mother and somehow that related to why she hated Evan.

Maybe it was me jumping to conclusions, maybe some pieces of information just meshed together to form a full picture. In the end it just made sense with the timeline you were building and the people involved.

Up to this chapter, I was not really sure what you were planning to do with Darlene. To me she seemed to be some kind of wildcard.

Looking forward to whatever convoluted setup you are finally going to build, with our twins living happily ever after in their incestous relationship...maybe...

mbdman9 wrote:

Damn! I've been reading this story since the first chapter. And man! I've been hooked! Man(I mean BiStander), you got talent at this writing thing. Never have I ever read a story with this level of narration skill. You wouldn't believe but I made an account on this site just to tell you how good this story is! Keep posting and just a little request - Please post a bit quicker! But then again, I know it's difficult for you too.

One more question, are the stories posted on SS exactly same as in here?

(posted from Chapter 18: Correct and Protect)

Thank you for taking the time to create an account and tell me you are enjoying the story. As to your question, on sex stories chapter 6 was rejected and a couple of other chapters have a few minor changes to get past their rules, but the later chapters are exactly the same because the characters ages were established already so there isn't a need to mention it. Might be a few issues coming up, though.

That was quite intense. You are weaving a very interesting web of secrets. Now the question is how long it will take one of the lead characters to grow a spine, if that ever happens...maybe Gloria.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

(posted from Chapter 19: Willpower)

thehilz wrote:

Really enjoying the story. Liked seeing how Evan has changed his views from the beginning. Maybe it is just me but the newest chapter seemed a little choppy when changing scenes.

Interesting. I find writing transitions one of the most challenging things, especially doing time jumps, so you might be correct. If you could give at least one example, that would be helpful. I know my proofreader said he got lost for a second when Evan went from his room to the hallway outside his mother's room at the beginning of the story. To me it was fine. Evan's last thought was that he needed to get it over with, then he was in the hallway outside his mother's room. Seemed like a waste of words to spell out the fact that he was going downstairs, etc.

I could be wrong. So help me out. I always want to make it the best reading experience it can be.

thehilz wrote:

Also unless I missed something I didn't know his father knew about his racing yet.

Candy told him in an attempt to help Evan. "That was why she had ignored her premonition, put on appealing clothes and pleaded Evan's case." That didn't work too well. While Candy gained lots of points with me, Evan lost just as much, if not more. Unfortunately I know that this is not fair to Evan, as living all your live with an uncaring, abusive father can fuck you up big time. Let's just see what happens. Maybe John works Candy over enough for Gloria to snap and put that sick little puppy out of his misery, maybe with her softball bat in the middle of the kitchen...

I think finger marks on Candy's neck and a bruised face on Evan would put John in jail. I understand him not standing up to his dad because he is only a teenager and his dad John is big. John is also a coward he can only beat up Women and young Kids. I hope that Evan learns at some point that it is better to fight and lose then not to fight.

Good Chapter.

(posted from Chapter 19: Willpower)