The Pub Discussion Board

Get your favorite beverage, sit back, and join in the discussion

You are not logged in.

#1 2012-10-17 21:33:12

Bridget
Barmaid
From: The Internet
Registered: 2006-09-09
Posts: 769
Website

tutor's payment, A

A tutor's payment

A teenager tutors more then girls


Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide.

SITE CONTENT POLICY:  The administrator of this site will not reject, remove, or censor any story posted to this site based on the story's content.  No story shall be removed except for purely technical reasons (which will be worked out with the author so that the story can be reposted as quickly as possible), or due to a direct order from the site's hosting provider, a law-enforcement entity, or the story's owner.

Offline

 

#2 2012-10-19 14:24:45

James Marcus
Wasted
From: USA
Registered: 2010-06-14
Posts: 120

Re: tutor's payment, A

Very good start. However everything came off a little rushed, I would a a bit more description of the people and their actions, their surroundings or what is going on around them, maybe some background stuff to give everyone a better feel of the characters and who they are. But definitely a good start.

(posted from Chapter 1)

Offline

 

#3 2012-10-20 20:42:47

Crusader
Wasted
From: Madison, WI
Registered: 2007-07-19
Posts: 155

Re: tutor's payment, A

James M, i wouldn't hold your breath.
Kahmnd has been posting for years at stories.xnxx and all of his characters seem to have very little trouble falling into money and getting almost everything that they are striving for without much trouble, at least that is how they read to me.

don't get me wrong, the stories he has been posting are good for a quick jerk (and I've been using them as such for years), but if your looking for an in-depth story, where the plot nails you and almost forces to you come back for more..... nuff said.

all of that being said, he is still 10 times a better writer then I am.

-Crusader

Offline

 

Board footer

Powered by PunBB
© Copyright 2002–2005 Rickard Andersson