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2018-Feb-12 @ 2:34 AM
mwahoo
Tipsy
Member since 2017-Dec-30
Posts: 6

hopefully Gloria is soon deflowered and an extremely good twosome or threesome is coming.  SOON!

(posted from Chapter 23: Who is in Control)


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2018-Feb-16 @ 8:16 AM
Shavedtexmex
Tipsy
Member since 2017-Sep-28
Posts: 3

Love  this series always looking for the newest chapter

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2018-Feb-16 @ 9:44 AM
Shavedtexmex
Tipsy
Member since 2017-Sep-28
Posts: 3

Love  this series always looking for the newest chapter

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2018-Feb-19 @ 8:46 PM
coachc32
Tipsy
Member since 2016-Nov-19
Posts: 6

Any chance 24 will be up for some great reading this coming weekend? I am looking forward to it big time! Also, I had a thought. Have you ever thought of creating like a character bio guide for this story? Sometimes it gets hard for me to remember some of the minor characters, what they are suppose to look like, and how they are connected. It may just be me though... Keep up the good work, it's awesome so far!!!

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2018-Feb-20 @ 10:00 AM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 89

coachc32 wrote:

Any chance 24 will be up for some great reading this coming weekend? I am looking forward to it big time! Also, I had a thought. Have you ever thought of creating like a character bio guide for this story? Sometimes it gets hard for me to remember some of the minor characters, what they are suppose to look like, and how they are connected. It may just be me though... Keep up the good work, it's awesome so far!!!

(posted from the Item Information Page)

First of all, thank you for commenting.

I think a good author creates a character bio at the start. I wish I had because I keep expecting somebody to say, "Hey, that girl has small tits with pointy nipples, not big round tits." I have to go back and check things all the time. I've been working on this for years and I've written three versions of it. The first one went down so many rabbit trails that I couldn't wrap them up. Plus it went way off course. The second version, which I've been working from, was better, but I had lost the ending anyway, so I've been making changes to the timeline and character's ages. Believe me, it gets confusing.

As far as this weekend, I wish I could say yes, for sure, but I don't know if I'll get it all finished and I have no idea what my proofreader's schedule is.


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2018-Mar-11 @ 7:02 PM
waaum
Tipsy
Member since 2017-Jun-20
Posts: 3

Keep on going. You're going in great wink

Just, if I may offer my advice, keep in mind not to overdo it with all the new characters, relations and hook-ups. I feel like the original strength of this story was that it was only centered around a select few characters, enabling strong character building. Add too many and it'll start dilluting and confusing.

Nevertheless, still love it.

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2018-Mar-12 @ 7:03 PM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 89

waaum wrote:

Keep on going. You're going in great wink

Just, if I may offer my advice, keep in mind not to overdo it with all the new characters, relations and hook-ups. I feel like the original strength of this story was that it was only centered around a select few characters, enabling strong character building. Add too many and it'll start dilluting and confusing.

Nevertheless, still love it.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Thank you and thanks for the advice. You are spot on. The problem(which I created because I'm stupid) with writing something like this and posting it chapter by chapter over too long a period of time is that people get in your ear about what they want and I get inspired and stuff some new thing in there. My main focus right now is to bring this story to a conclusion. After that, there could be a part two; a plotless fuckathon that folks will love on the other sites.


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2018-Mar-24 @ 9:48 PM
coachc32
Tipsy
Member since 2016-Nov-19
Posts: 6

Any word on 24? It's been awhile since 23. I'm sure it'll be worth the wait though. Hope all is well.

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2018-Mar-25 @ 5:42 PM
mwahoo
Tipsy
Member since 2017-Dec-30
Posts: 6

coachc32 wrote:

Any word on 24? It's been awhile since 23. I'm sure it'll be worth the wait though. Hope all is well.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Or any chance of Pre-release work for review and comment to help?


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2018-Mar-26 @ 5:48 AM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 89

mwahoo wrote:

Or any chance of Pre-release work for review and comment to help?

That is always my favorite comment. I hope you're not just blowing smoke up my ass to see if I'm working. Any chance you're good at spotting mistakes?


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2018-Mar-26 @ 9:23 AM
mwahoo
Tipsy
Member since 2017-Dec-30
Posts: 6

bistander wrote:

mwahoo wrote:

Or any chance of Pre-release work for review and comment to help?

That is always my favorite comment. I hope you're not just blowing smoke up my ass to see if I'm working. Any chance you're good at spotting mistakes?

extremely good

part of my profession


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2018-Mar-26 @ 7:07 PM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 89

Sounds awesome. The last person helping me, who was an excellent editor, is in college and is starting a business, so he's quite busy.
The way he and I work was through Google Doc. I'd post in the there and share it with him. He'd highlight errors and leave comments.
I'm open to other ideas, but if that works send me an email message through the Pub.


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2018-Mar-27 @ 5:18 AM
mwahoo
Tipsy
Member since 2017-Dec-30
Posts: 6

bistander wrote:

Sounds awesome. The last person helping me, who was an excellent editor, is in college and is starting a business, so he's quite busy.
The way he and I work was through Google Doc. I'd post in the there and share it with him. He'd highlight errors and leave comments.
I'm open to other ideas, but if that works send me an email message through the Pub.

Got handed a " project" today that will tie me up probably beyond your publish date.  That being said,  my level of edit may
be harder and more rigid than you need ( based on stories I have read)  If I get loose,  I will reach out.  For now I anxiously await
Good luck


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2018-Mar-27 @ 8:23 AM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 89

mwahoo, why wouldn't I want to have my work edited to a standard that could be sent to the editor at a publishing company? What you see in my work is the best I can do at this point. Read the stuff I wrote in 2009 and you'll see how much I've learned. I'm still learning, but I'm so busy chopping wood that I don't have time to sharpen the ax.


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2018-Mar-29 @ 6:28 AM
X2th3Z
Tipsy
Member since 2018-Mar-27
Posts: 1

Literally check every day for updates on this story and nothing else on this site , hope 24 will be up soon


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2018-Mar-29 @ 8:52 AM
thehilz
Wasted
Member since 2010-Sep-7
Posts: 207

While you wait for the next chapter in this story you should look around the site because there are plenty of other stories/authors that I’m sure you will find something else you will like as well.


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2018-Mar-31 @ 8:16 AM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 89

X2th3Z wrote:

Literally check every day for updates on this story and nothing else on this site , hope 24 will be up soon

Yeah, I know. I don't understand what happened to me and this story. I've struggled and procrastinated and dicked around writing other stories. I do have a bunch written and I am editing it, so keep checking back and as thehilz said, check out the other stories. There are some great authors on this site.

Send me an email through the site and I'll send you a message when the chapter is done. Then you won't have to be disappointed when you don't see it here.


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2018-Apr-2 @ 2:26 AM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 89

I sure wish I had somebody to proofread this chapter and give me a title. I've spent my whole weekend on it. I'm posting it here tomorrow even if I don't find someone, and you'll have only yourselves to blame for the errors.


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2018-Apr-5 @ 6:10 PM
farok
Tipsy
Member since 2017-Sep-28
Posts: 4

""Not today, nah. I'll do that tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and it's still today. Tomorrow is a relative term. We're not getting there."

~Bo Burnham

Jokes aside, really looking forward to the next chapter!

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2018-Apr-10 @ 3:55 PM
Jenson.P
Tipsy
Member since 2018-Apr-4
Posts: 1

bistander wrote:

I sure wish I had somebody to proofread this chapter and give me a title. I've spent my whole weekend on it. I'm posting it here tomorrow even if I don't find someone, and you'll have only yourselves to blame for the errors.

Hey Bistander,
  Been following you since you first posted this story and I created this account just to let you know that I check the page for updates every single day. Hope it will be ready soon. But of course if you don't think it's ready yet, take all the time you need smile


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2018-Apr-13 @ 6:48 AM
bistander
Contributor
Member since 2015-Sep-3
Posts: 89

Thank you Jenson. It was ready last week, but I reconsidered and added two more pieces at the end that without it seemed I had cheated the readers and maybe even Darlene. I hope to wrap it up soon.

Now that you're on this awesome site, check out some of the stories here. There are some great authors here. Hopefully, you won't find them so interesting that you forget about me. big_smile


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2018-Apr-13 @ 1:33 PM
oldgymrat71
Tipsy
Member since 2018-Apr-13
Posts: 2

This author is learning quickly and her raw intelligence is worthy of your time.

(posted from Chapter 4: Its Dangerous to Squeeze the Charmin)


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2018-Apr-13 @ 11:09 PM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 3854

Um.... I'm pretty sure the author in question is a "him", not a "her"...

Eric Storm


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Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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AMEN! >>> Word Crimes
2018-Apr-14 @ 12:55 AM
oldgymrat71
Tipsy
Member since 2018-Apr-13
Posts: 2

Eric, in spite of your surety I find the stories have a definite feminine touch. This is probably one of the reasons I like them.


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2018-Apr-14 @ 4:02 AM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 3854

Well, let's put it this way: I know this person's first name.  Unless their parents were VERY odd, it's a "him".

Eric Storm

PS:  Not every man thinks the same way.  Not every woman thinks the same way.  Some men do think like women.  Some women do think like men.  A man could have a more feminine writing style.  A woman could have a more masculine writing style.  Suffice to say, you like this author's style, which has nothing to do with whether it's a man, woman, or chimpanzee.


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Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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AMEN! >>> Word Crimes